J.D. Quote #1337
Quote from J.D. in My Road to Nowhere
J.D.: [v.o.] Not only did I have a long distance girlfriend who was pregnant, but I still hadn't found an apartment. So I was living on my half-acre in a tent. [alarm clock is pulled away] A haunted tent.
Buzz: Stop stealing our power!
Donna: You are ruining our neighborhood!
J.D.: Oh, really, Donna?! I'm ruining the neighborhood? At least I'm quiet! Were you guys having sex last night, or raping a baboon?!
Buzz: I wasn't home last night.
J.D.: My bad.
Donna: I'm gonna beat your ass!
J.D.: [screams]
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Road to Nowhere’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Check out that body, bet you'd like to give her a ride, uh?
Ted: [staring at an old woman] Ooh, you bet-cha!
Dr. Kelso: Over here, perv. It's for my retirement, so Enid and I can see the country in luxury.
Ted: So it's a wheelchair accessable for her, sir?
Dr. Kelso: Ted, I'm not retiring for at least three years. If she's still alive, I'll deal with it then.
Quote from Turk
[As Dr. Mickhead walks by with his phone, the "Guy Love" ringtone plays]
Turk: Mickhead! Give me my phone.
Dr. Mickhead: It's mine.
Turk: Oh, really? Does yours have a picture of Carla in the background?
Dr. Mickhead: Yes.
Turk: Ha! Trick question! Mine's got Tyra Banks, see?!
Quote from Turk
Turk: So you're here for your ultrasound, huh? I can't believe you're going to let him know the sex, especially when you could... No, that's too mean, I couldn't do it.
Jordan: No, mean is good. I like mean.
Turk: You could learn the sex, not tell Perry, hold it over his head, and play him like your little bitch-boy.
Jordan: Perry was so wrong about you. You're not an idiotic, scalpel-toting, basketball-dribbling , blood-sugar-watching, idiotic man-boy!
Turk: Stop.