Dr. Kelso: Private, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
Brian: That you were never in the navy, and Johnny is your husband?
Dr. Kelso: If only. I love you, Johnny. Your fighting in that war has provoked some pretty heated argument amongst the staff. See, the thing is they think they can just put their squabbles in a box that won't affect their work. But they're wrong. I mean, judging from the coffee stains on Dr. Cox's scrubs and the quote on this coffee cup attributed to Dr. Reid.
Brian: "My bajingo's on fire. May, 2004." What's a bajingo?
Dr. Kelso: Eventually, a page is going to go unreturned or a test isn't gonna get run as quickly as it should have been, and some nice kid like yourself is gonna pay the price. And what bothers me about it, is that I know this is going on, but there's nothing I can do to change it.
Brian: Why not?
Dr. Kelso: Let's just say that around here I'm not as loved as your sergeant was.
Brian: We hated Sgt. Borden.
Dr. Kelso: Come again?
Brian: Yeah, he demeaned us, overworked us. Still, maybe sometimes that's what being a good leader is, uniting everybody by giving them someone to hate.