Elliot: As a woman, have you ever noticed how self-esteem issues just creep up on you?
Carla: I have sausage fingers.
Jordan: Do you remember when I pulled strings with the board and got Perry that promotion? Yeah. People started talking and Perry ended up totally emasculated. So it worked out great for me.

J.D.: [v.o.] People were starting to talk about Elliot and Keith. But I decided to stay above the fray. Then I changed my mind.
J.D.: Can you believe those two?
Nurse Roberts: No, I can't. All that carrying on in public.
Nurse: It's way too much.
J.D.: It's just too much. Sorry. I switched places so I could go again.

Mrs. Cooke: Bob, just a note about the tapioca. I'm much more partial to flan.
Dr. Kelso: You're a flan fan. It's fun to say, more fun to eat. Anyway, anything that you need, you just ask Dr.
Cox. Perry, Bonnie here is an old friend.
Dr. Cox: Can't say I'm shocked.
Dr. Kelso: Take care of her.
Dr. Cox: You can count on me, Bobbo! Here's the lowdown. In three hours, my shift ends, at which point I will be leaving you and meeting with my ex-wife for a celebratory "best doctor in the city" date which is guaranteed to end in crazy hotel sex. I'm thinking six-inch heels, a leather mask, fishnet stockings. Who knows? She may even get dressed up. The good news for you, though, is that you have a case of hypercalcemia. Any trained monkey can treat it. Let's see who that monkey's gonna be.
Rex: Ooh! Banana.
Dr. Cox: Rex it is. Have a great night. You're in very capable nine-fingered hands.