J.D. Quote #1150
Quote from J.D. in My Five Stages
Dr. Hendrick: I understand you spend most of your time fighting death around here, so it's understandable that you're made uncomfortable by this. Now, if you'd like, I'm willing to counsel both of you.
J.D.: [v.o.] I was tempted to take him up, but then Dr. Cox said something.
Dr. Cox: Listen up. We don't need any of your head shrinking.
J.D.: [v.o.] "We!" He said, "we!" After all these years, he's finally made us a team.
J.D.: Yeah, Hedrick. If it was up to us, we never would've even called you. We can handle death just fine. We might even be going into private practice together.
Dr. Cox: What?
J.D.: [v.o.] Easy. Now is not the time to discuss the Dorian-Cox Clinic, much less the relocation to Jacksonville.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Five Stages’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: OK, Teddy. I got this baby flowing now. I don't know if that's good. You should sue Kelso. You have a serious tort on your hands.
Ted: Tort?
Janitor: Civil case. From the French avoir tort.
Ted: Did you go to law school?
Janitor: No. I was Ruth Bader Ginsburg's janitor for a while.
Ted: Ruth Bader who?
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, Newbie, what do you got?
J.D.: That guy looks fantastic. What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes?
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: [v.o.] Lately, Elliot and her booty call, Keith, loved playing games. Tonight, it was "The Orchard Owner and the Mexican Apple Thief."
Elliot: Confess, Manuel! Confess that you stole these apples.
Keith: I was at the dance with the other pickers.
Elliot: Liar! [Elliot slaps him]
J.D.: [v.o.] Frankly, the whole thing disgusted me.
Elliot: You saw him do it, didn't you, Paco?
J.D.: [v.o.] Mostly because they never let me speak.
J.D.: [exaggerated Mexican accent] He hid them in his pantalones. He loves these apples. He makes apples pie and apples juice with them.
Elliot: Paco, you can't talk because you lost your tongue in that cider press accident, remember? Now, back to the pickers' bunkhouse!
J.D.: I hate the pickers' bunkhouse.
J.D.: [v.o.] And I hate Keith. Which begs the question: Why do I insist on being a part of their foreplay?