Dr. Cox Quote #645
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Cabbage
Dr. Kelso: Would someone explain what that bird is doing in my hospital?
Janitor: Sanchez appears to be flying, sir. I've named him Sanchez. He set up shop in that old wreath there. I'd take it down, but the patients really seem to love the little guy.
Dr. Kelso: That disease-infested scavenger is a serious health risk.
Janitor: No.
Dr. Kelso: Do you know the number one cause of death?
Dr. Cox: Your breath?
Dr. Kelso: Infection. And do you know how quickly infection spreads in a hospital?
Dr. Cox: Your breath?
Dr. Kelso: That doesn't make sense.
Dr. Cox: Don't care.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Cabbage’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Look, infection can start with a simple sneeze. And then a handshake. Perhaps an accidental collision. Then a simple touch on the shoulder.
[As Dr. Kelso speaks, the camera turns to a young boy who sneezes. As his mother wipes his nose, the tissue she throws away glows green, as does her hand. She then shakes hands with a doctor, turning his hand green. He bumps into a nurse who helps him pick up his file, turning her hand green. The nurse then strokes the arm of a patient, turning her arm green.]
Dr. Kelso: And just like that you have a patient in trouble.
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk and Elliot were having a hard time because Mr. Burton didn't make it through surgery.
Elliot: We did everything we could for your dad. We are so sorry, Devin, Eric.
Eric: That's Devin. I'm Eric.
Elliot: Oh, you guys must get that all the time.
Devin: Because all black people look the same?
Turk: Hmm.
Elliot: No! Because you're identical twins.
Eric: Is she always this racist?
Turk: Oh, there's a pattern.
Elliot: Identical twins, Turk!
Quote from J.D.
Turk: I don't lose things.
Carla: Please, you lose everything. Sometimes I worry what you'll be like as a dad.
[fantasy:]
Turk: [on the phone] We're on our way back right now. Junior and I just went to pick up a pumpkin.
[Turk looks in the back and sees a pumpkin strapped into the kiddy chair]
Turk: I'm gonna have to call you back.
[meanwhile, at a pumpkin farm:]
Woman: Look, somebody left a baby here.
[Carla and Turk stand over their baby's crib, which now houses the pumpkin:]
Carla: Well, he is kind of cute.
Turk: Phew!
[later, in the bathroom:]
Turk: Our baby's first bath.
Carla: Oh, watch the head.
[ten years later, Turk and Carla sit in the bleachers as the pitcher knocks the helmet off their pumpkin:]
Carla: What?! Come on! That was intentional!
Turk: Charge the mound, son!
Both: Charge the mound!
[twenty-one years later:]
Turk: We are so damn proud of you, son.
Carla: My little valedictorian.
[A man accidentally nudges Turk, sending the pumpkin splattering to the ground]
Carla: [sobbing]
Turk: Put him back together, baby! No!
Young Man: Mom? Dad?
Carla: Son? Son?
Turk: Get over here, boy! You come and you give your father a hug!
[The young man is knocked down a bus]
Turk: No!
[Carla faints]
[reality:]
Turk: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time.
J.D.: You're gonna be an awful father!