Dr. Kelso: Look, infection can start with a simple sneeze. And then a handshake. Perhaps an accidental collision. Then a simple touch on the shoulder.
[As Dr. Kelso speaks, the camera turns to a young boy who sneezes. As his mother wipes his nose, the tissue she throws away glows green, as does her hand. She then shakes hands with a doctor, turning his hand green. He bumps into a nurse who helps him pick up his file, turning her hand green. The nurse then strokes the arm of a patient, turning her arm green.]
Dr. Kelso: And just like that you have a patient in trouble.

J.D.: [v.o.] Turk and Elliot were having a hard time because Mr. Burton didn't make it through surgery.
Elliot: We did everything we could for your dad. We are so sorry, Devin, Eric.
Eric: That's Devin. I'm Eric.
Elliot: Oh, you guys must get that all the time.
Devin: Because all black people look the same?
Turk: Hmm.
Elliot: No! Because you're identical twins.
Eric: Is she always this racist?
Turk: Oh, there's a pattern.
Elliot: Identical twins, Turk!

Turk: I don't lose things.
Carla: Please, you lose everything. Sometimes I worry what you'll be like as a dad.
[fantasy:]
Turk: [on the phone] We're on our way back right now. Junior and I just went to pick up a pumpkin.
[Turk looks in the back and sees a pumpkin strapped into the kiddy chair]
Turk: I'm gonna have to call you back.
[meanwhile, at a pumpkin farm:]
Woman: Look, somebody left a baby here.
[Carla and Turk stand over their baby's crib, which now houses the pumpkin:]
Carla: Well, he is kind of cute.
Turk: Phew!
[later, in the bathroom:]
Turk: Our baby's first bath.
Carla: Oh, watch the head.
[ten years later, Turk and Carla sit in the bleachers as the pitcher knocks the helmet off their pumpkin:]
Carla: What?! Come on! That was intentional!
Turk: Charge the mound, son!
Both: Charge the mound!
[twenty-one years later:]
Turk: We are so damn proud of you, son.
Carla: My little valedictorian.
[A man accidentally nudges Turk, sending the pumpkin splattering to the ground]
Carla: [sobbing]
Turk: Put him back together, baby! No!
Young Man: Mom? Dad?
Carla: Son? Son?
Turk: Get over here, boy! You come and you give your father a hug!
[The young man is knocked down a bus]
Turk: No!
[Carla faints]
[reality:]
Turk: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time.
J.D.: You're gonna be an awful father!