Janitor: So, I'm late 'cause Dorian parked his scooter behind my new van. I practically punctured a tire backing over the thing. Kid drives me crazy.
Dr. Cox: A new van, huh?
Janitor: Well, you blew up the old one over a bet. Remember?
Dr. Cox: Right. Dorian drives me crazy too. But what are you going to do about it?
[later, Dr. Cox and the Janitor watch J.D. as he sleeps in his apartment:]
Janitor: I stole this from his locker. I come by here a couple times a week and just move stuff around. Turn off his alarm. Maybe cut his bangs.
Dr. Cox: You're clearly in need of help, but gosh darn it, I'm not gonna give it to ya.

Dr. Cox: [laughing] You're right. But, you know... You know what else I hate about Kelso? His hair smells like a pet store.
Janitor: Oh, actually, that's my fault. I filled his hairspray can with dog sweat.
Dr. Cox: Dogs don't sweat.
Janitor: No?
Dr. Cox: No.
Janitor: What the hell am I putting in there?

Dr. Cox: I'm- I'm actually saving that for someone.
Elderly Woman: That's not allowed.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Say, that's a real nice pantsuit you have there.
Elderly Woman: Oh, well, thank you. It's 40 percent off.
Dr. Cox: Let's say you swing by my place and see if we can't get it 100 percent off?
[The woman walks away in disgust]
Dr. Cox: Had to be done.
Janitor: Thanks, chief. I've got your next one.