J.D.: Okay, I'm here. What's the emergency, Keith?
Keith: Well, do you want Mr. Fleming on unfractionated or low molecular weight heparin?
J.D.: They're the exact same thing. Every doctor here knows that. Why would you page me?
Dr. Cox: Because I told him to. And I know what you're thinking, Dorothy. Why would I have your intern call you in on one of your very precious days off for something so gosh-darn trivial? But the real question ought to be, why, when you were an intern, did you call me in time after time after time after time? So now, to commemorate the first of many unnecessary disruptions of your life, I've invited Laverne's church choir here to summarize my feelings in exuberant song.
Choir: [singing] Payback is a bitch Payback is a bitch Payback is a bitch Payback is a bitch It's just the beginning But it's payback Oh, it's payback Payback is a bitch Payback Payback is a bitch Payback Payback is a bitch Oh, Lord Payback is a bitch

J.D.: [v.o.] Even though it sucks being paged by an intern, there was nothing I like more than riding my scooter, Sasha, through puddles after a rain. And here comes a big one! ... Where was I?
[later:]
J.D.: You're not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital, are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julian?
J.D.: We didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julian.

J.D.: [v.o.] Living with Elliot was certainly different. Every inch of her apartment was filled with girly stuff. There were lavender-scented candles, pink robes, bath salts. It was awesome. My first day off in weeks. Only one thing could make it better. Cranking up the Toto.
J.D.: [singing] I bless the rains down in Africa [mumbles] Mango body butter? Mmm.