J.D. Quote #1053
Quote from J.D. in My Missed Perception
J.D.: Perry, we spent an equal amount of time with Mrs. Wilk. Now, seeing as we're both attendings, i.e. "equals," why don't we let her decide who her doctor is, huh?
Dr. Cox: Or we could skip the day trip to Unnecessary-land, and instead, simply concede that Mrs. Wilk is my patient and that, while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals. We are, in fact, not equals. We are hmm, unequals.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Missed Perception’ Quotes
Quote from J.D.
Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.
Dr. Cox: [groans]
Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange man, aren't you?
J.D.: I was a preemie.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Miss Brooks, your blood work looks fine. But I'd like to take one more sample, just for me.
[J.D. bites into the patients neck with his fangs and spits the blood out into a tube]
J.D.: You taste a little anemic. Get that down to the lab, buddy.
Keith: Right away, Dr. Acula.
J.D.: It's what they call me. How you doing?
[reality:]
J.D.: The end.
Turk: So Dr. Acula is a doctor and a vampire?
J.D.: He's both. And at the very end, I'm gonna put "Dr. Acula" across the screen, take that period, get it out of there, squish it together, it'll say "Dracula."
Turk: That is an awesome ending!
J.D.: Um, thank you for telling me what I already know, Turk.
Quote from J.D.
Dr. Kelso: I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe.
J.D.: She said, "I've led a great life," and every doctor in the world knows that's code for "I'm ready to die."
Dr. Kelso: How old do you think I am, Dorian?
J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, there's no way to answer and not get in trouble. Change the subject.
J.D.: Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me on Sunday for some homemade jambalaya.
Dr. Kelso: Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house.
J.D.: [v.o.] My God! He's thinking about it. Change the subject back!
J.D.: You're 78, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You think I'm that old?
J.D.: Jambalaya.