J.D. Quote #1039
Quote from J.D. in My New God
[As Dr. Cox and Paige energetically argue outside the room]
J.D.: Hey, do you guys like improv? 'Cause I'm kind of an expert. There's a game we play in class where you make up what people are saying. Like watch. "Do you want some pie?" "Not me! I hate pie!" "What are you talking about? Who hates pie? Everyone loves pie!" "I've always hated pie. You never understood me. You're a pie racist." "You're a cobbler whore."
J.D.: [v.o.] For God's sake, get off pie!
Paige: Jerk.
Dr. Cox: Republican.
J.D.: Pie.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My New God’ Quotes
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: What does he find irritating about you?
Dr. Cox: Fire at will.
Paige: I've embraced the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior.
J.D.: [v.o.] I'm not sure why it was suddenly so awkward, I wished something'd break the tension.
Turk: [paper beeps] [singing] Hallelujah A brother's 'bout to have some sex Hallelujah A brother's 'bout to have some sex Smack the moneymaker! Smack it!
J.D.: That's how he likes it.
Turk: Sex time, people!
J.D.: He's married, so it's strictly procreation sex. His wife's throwing her legs up in the air because they're trying for a boy. Like Jesus.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: You can talk to me if you want.
Turk: Elliot, I can't talk to you about sex. I don't understand that crazy gibberish you use. Penis is schwing-something.
Elliot: Schwing-schwong, peepers or peep.
Turk: And vagina is...
Elliot: Disgusting, but also bajingo or hoo-hoo.
Turk: Here's the deal. I'm trying to get in the mood, right? And Carla's going on and on about her cervical mucus.
Elliot: Ah-ah, b-b-but, mm-mmm. From now on, [quietly] cervical mucus will be referred to as "icky sticky."
Turk: Icky sticky.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: I don't know why I bother. Little Hayley doesn't have a chance this month. I name my eggs. Big frick. Last month it was Cassie.
J.D.: Ooh, Cassie's pretty.
Elliot: Oh, she would have been, J.D. She would have been.