J.D. Quote #1024
Quote from J.D. in My Jiggly Ball
J.D.: Everyone has a human side, Coxie. Even Kelso.
Nurse Roberts: The hell he does. I remember a flu epidemic, we lost half a dozen children in one day. The second Kelso's foot hits the bottom of those stairs, he doesn't have a care in the world.
J.D.: You know, Laverne, I'm a doctor. So I'm not really gonna take my psychological evaluations from someone who dispenses them in between Maury and eating a corn muffin.
J.D.: [v.o.] OK, that was too mean. Apologize.
J.D.: Laverne, I- Ah, the hell with it. She's not gonna forgive you. Go for broke! I was watching CNN earlier. Apparently the terror alert in your armpits has been elevated to orange. Oh, no, he didn't. Yes, Laverne, he did.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Jiggly Ball’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Alrighty, you're gonna go first. Please enter the jiggly circle. Everybody else, on my signal, prepare to throw.
J.D.: Throw?
Janitor: Now.
[J.D. is pounded with tennis balls by the hospital staff]
Janitor: Now, anyone who caught a jiggle rebound may step up to the death line.
Nurse Roberts: I want you to think of this as a corn muffin.
[J.D. whimpers as Nurse Roberts throws a tennis ball at him from point-blank range]
J.D.: [to the Janitor] There is no such thing as Jiggly Ball, is there?
Janitor: No.
Quote from Turk
Carla: If J.D. were drowning and said he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?
Turk: That depends. What if there are hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him.
Carla: Let's say there's no women.
Turk: There's always women at the pool, Baby.
Carla: Fine. He's in a pond.
J.D.: Oh, I would never swim in a pond. They're infamous for serpents.
Turk: You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays, men only.
J.D.: Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.
Carla: Fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!
Turk: Oh, so now a brother can't swim?!
J.D.: Why do you have to go there?
Carla: Oh, my God! I would rather play Jiggly Ball than try to explain this to you two idiots.
Quote from Turk
Turk: It's true, Mr. Keck, you could probably get by without the surgery. But why would you? I'm the smartest, most skilled surgeon in this place.
Mr. Keck: Are you stuck in that candy machine?
Turk: I paid for my Rolos, I'm getting my Rolos.