Dr. Cox: All right there, Blossom. Here's the hot gossip. You're having seizures again because you're not taking your medication. If this continues, you will be dead. And I'm not talking about the "Oh, my God, if I don't get invited to the prom, I'm going to die" type of dead. I'm talking dead dead. Is that clear enough for you? Because if it's not, I could, of course, "text" you on my blackberry or my blueberry or my Chuck Berry, although technically, Chuck Berry is a black Berry. The point is, you gotta stop wasting everybody's time and grow up. Is that clear to you, sweetheart?
Lindsay: Yes, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: That a girl. Barbie, feel free to kiss my ring.

Elliot: I'll tell you why Lindsay's seizures are back. Her blood work shows her Dilantin is at zero. She's not taking her medicine.
Dr. Cox: What?! I'm gonna give that girl a serious talking to.
Elliot: With all due respect, Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her.
Dr. Cox: With no due respect whatsoever, why?
Elliot: Well, she's a teenage girl. That's an awkward time. You know, your breasts are growing... Not always symmetrically. Um, you like boys. Maybe one gives you a ride home. You think something's gonna happen, but it doesn't, and that just makes it official that you're a lopsided freak. Happy ending, though. Lefty caught up in college.

J.D.: [v.o.] I guess there's a lot of things that can knock you on your ass. Like, for instance, when your seventeen-year-old neighbor doesn't see you as a smoking hottie anymore.
Jordan: Oh, Pedro? I can't seem to find my pencil. Do you have any idea where it might be?
Pedro: Oh, it's right there between your bosoms ma'am.
Jordan: "Ma'am"? Y- You just ma'amed your way out of me ever buying you beer again. "Ma'am"?