Dr. Cox: I gotta tell you there, Supercuts, I've seen a lot of crazy things at this hospital. I've seen smokers live to be a 100, and I've seen tri-athletes come in here and drop dead at 20. I've seen unbridled joy, and I've seen debilitating pain. But I never thought I'd see a jumpsuit-wearing, van-driving, vomit-cleaning, no-good, confounded, Frankenstein-looking buffoon like you get a girl like Barbie.
Janitor: I'm gonna paint your Porsche mint green so it looks like my van's baby.

J.D.: [v.o.] So Molly's back in town. She definitely wants me.
Dr. Molly Clock: [on the phone] Bye. How you doing, J.J.?
J.D.: It's J.D.
Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, right. I was just thinking of that Jimmie Walker sitcom.
J.D.: Good Times?
Dr. Molly Clock: Not great. My sister had a miscarriage.

Janitor: Gentlemen, crazy eyes Margo, I've called the brain trust together for one reason. I have to find a way to make blonde doctor mine.
Randall: Burn down her apartment.
Troy: I have an idea, but we're gonna need a tugboat.
Janitor: Tugboats and arson, that's all I ever get from you guys. We call this a brain trust, and I'm the one with all the solutions. I saved you from that eagle, Randall. I saved your job, Troy. And, Margo, I found your birth mother. She was a tree person, remember? There's no shame in that. Sorry, guys, but I've had enough. I'm afraid I have to find a new brain trust. [to Todd, Ted and Doug] Gentlemen I don't want to appear selfish, but stop what you're doing and focus on me.