J.D. Quote #885

Quote from J.D. in My Roommates

J.D.: [v.o.] Kylie wanted to take things slowly. So, 17 dates in, I was basically embroiled in the world's longest make-out session.
Kylie: Too much kissing?
J.D.: No, no. Come on, I still have a little saliva left.
J.D.: [v.o.] As I felt the onslaught of what can only be described as a vicious tongue cramp, I decided it was time to let Kylie see my favorite dance. The "For God's sake, invite me to stay over" dance. And we all know where that ends. The dance begins with a subtle hint.
J.D.: I am so pooped.
J.D.: [v.o.] Step 2: Sashay her into sympathy.
J.D.: It's chilly out there.
Kylie: It is cold.
J.D.: [v.o.] Finally, sweep her off her feet with your vulnerable cuteness.
J.D.: You know what I call this weather? Snuggle weather.
J.D.: [v.o.] Tip the band leader and fluff up the pillows, because this dance is done.
Kylie: You should go.
[fantasy:]
Teddy Bear: Yeah, hit the bricks, bitch. You got no game.

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 ‘My Roommates’ Quotes

Quote from Jordan

Dr. Cox: I've only actually met the child once, so I think it's pretty important that we figure out a way to spend some alone-time with him.
Jordan: Perry, if I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with someone else's child, it's gonna be with our neighbor's 17-year-old. And don't think he hasn't asked. Oh, Pablo. Hmm.

Quote from Todd

J.D.: Thanks for letting us crash here, man.
Todd: The Todd's not accustomed to receiving gentleman callers.
J.D.: Okay. Oh, cool picture. Which one of those guys is you?
Todd: Oh, I don't swim. So there's only one rule if you're gonna stay at "El Casa de Todd". You got to hammock up.
J.D.: Oh, I don't have one of those, Todd.
Todd: No problem. What are you, about a medium?
J.D.: Extra-medium.
Todd: This will work. And it'll look good, too.

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: So, I hear you're homeless. I wanna volunteer, give you a place to stay.
J.D.: I don't think so, buddy.
Janitor: Listen, crash in my garage. I guarantee you there will not be another person in there.
[fantasy: J.D. is awoken in the night by animal sounds. He looks up to see a group of raccoons. He touches his face then licks his finger.]
J.D.: You're gonna slather jam on my face and stick a family of raccoons on me, aren't you?
Janitor: Damn it. I've become predictable.