J.D. Quote #847
Quote from J.D. in My Hypocritical Oath
J.D.: OK, well, let's get a little history on you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Time to go fishing for some info.
J.D.: You ever have any shortness of breath, for instance when you're walking Kylie to the apartment that you share?
Kylie: We don't live together.
J.D.: [v.o.] Window! Window!
J.D.: Oh, so you're waiting until you get married.
Kylie: We're not engaged.
James: To answer your question, I don't have shortness of breath, but my right knee is a little puffy.
J.D.: Well, maybe that's from dragging your feet. Am I right, Kylie? She knows!
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Hypocritical Oath’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] Even though it can be tough around here, sometimes God gives you little gifts to get you through the day.
[Dr. Cox trips on the Janitor's cart while carrying a drink]
Dr. Cox: You're gonna wanna grab a mop.
Janitor: Shush. I'm watching The Sixth Sense.
Dr. Cox: There's a mess in the hallway.
Janitor: This kid sees dead people.
Dr. Cox: That film is at least five years old.
Janitor: So what? I haven't seen it.
Dr. Cox: Bruce Willis is a ghost. He's been dead the entire time. [gasps] Oh! All the best.
Janitor: No! No!
Quote from J.D.
Carla: I'm just saying men let you down. J.D., you have to tell her.
Turk: Baby, when J.D. became a doctor, he took the Hippocratic oath. I'm sorry, but there's no way around it.
[fantasy: J.D. is playing "Hangman" with Kylie. The board reads "YOUR _SSWIPE BOYFRIEND H_S GONORRHE_":]
Kylie: Is there an "A"?
J.D.: Yes, there is.
Kylie: Yes!
[reality:]
J.D.: There may be a way around it.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: I'm going for it. But, you know, I gotta go in there hot. Turk, what's that joke that Mickhead always tells?
Turk: Dude, a guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." The dentist then says, "If you think you're a moth, why'd you come to the dentist's office?" The guy then says, "Well, the light was on."
J.D.: [laughs] That moth was crazy.
[later, to Kylie and James:]
J.D.: Hey, I heard a great joke. A guys walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "If you think you're a moth, why are you in a dentist's office?"
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, no. I forgot the punch line. You can't bail out now. Stall, stall!
J.D.: So the moth says, "That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I do dabble in orthodontry, braces and such," and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
J.D.: [v.o.] The light was on!
J.D.: "But to answer your original question, which was if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office, the answer is because the light was on." [Kylie laughs] The light. It was the light, James. Moths love light.