Dr. Cox: Newbie, you never promise a patient that they're gonna be fine.
J.D.: Mr. Milligan? His blood pressure's a little low. He just has mono.
Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sakes, Newbie, take a look around, would you please? What's the difference between your Mr. Milligan and every other patient in this I.C.U.? And if the answer to that question is that he's the only one young enough to have never made a phone call like this: "Brring! Hello? Operator? Give me Stuyvesant 45-45-45", then you'd be right. But since I'm not in the mood to make some big, dramatic, sweeping statement, I'll just tell you this: God hates doctors. He truly does. You see all these old people in here? Well, any of 'em would give just about anything to be able to sashay off this planet, but most of 'em are gonna stay and they're gonna live forever and ever and ever. And your Mr. Milligan, well, it turns out he's just young enough to die. I mean, think about it: It's the holidays, there's a sweet little kid involved. Can't you just feel it?

Turk: Kelso's got this new stupid outreach program where families are allowed to observe surgeries. Yesterday I had to do a bypass on this guy. You should have seen the family, standing there motionless, silently judging me. And today I got to do a colectomy on that guy. What do you think his family is gonna be like?
[fantasy, J.D. images the African-American family watching the surgery with popcorn and soda:]
Woman: There's a tumor in there! There's a tumor in there!
Man: Oh, don't go behind the kidney, brother!
[reality:]
Turk: You didn't go to the black family yelling at the movie screen stereotype, did you?
J.D.: Like a bear to honey.

Dr. Cox: Uh, Carla. Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?
Carla: Oh, he got off your leash?
Dr. Cox: Give me a break. The kid's like a... He's like a... Have you ever seen a drunk baby? Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say that it turns out at first it's it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls. But, man, you take your eyes off 'em for one second and bam! They got a bucket on their head and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is that Newbie is my drunk baby.