Janitor Quote #173

Quote from Janitor in Her Story

Janitor: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Watch your step, there, little lady.
Elliot: Thanks, Janitor.
Elliot: [v.o.] He is so sweet. But why doesn't he just put up a sign that says "wet floor"?
[J.D. screams as he slides across the floor and crashes]
Janitor: Wet floor.

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‘Her Story’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Oh, whoa, now. What happened to what happened to feisty Barbie, huh? You know, it took me a helluva lot to shake off that tongue-lashing you gave me yesterday.
Elliot: Yeah, well, yesterday I had a mentor, but she turned out to be insane. I mean, how am I supposed to take professional advice from somebody who can't even hold together their personal life?
Dr. Cox: Look, I know you and I have never really connected. Maybe that's because you're relentlessly annoying, or maybe it's my fault because I can't tolerate relentlessly annoying people. I don't know. But answer me one question: Do you think I'm a good teacher?
Elliot: To some people.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Why don't we go ahead and take a look at my personal life? I am in love with a woman that I hate, my two-year-old son calls me "Pewwy," and this is something that I've never actually shared with anybody before, but on Saturday nights, I like to throw on a nice dress, go out to dive bars, and insist that everybody call me Mrs. Haberdasher!
Elliot: [laughs] ... No, you don't.
Dr. Cox: Well, even if I did, it wouldn't really matter since that has nothing to do with how good of a teacher I am. Stick with me here, Barbie. The point is that if you finally found somebody who makes you believe in yourself as much as you did yesterday, well, I would think twice before I wrote that person off.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Carla: Oh, hey, Turk, would you pour me a cup of decaf, please? We gotta go to bed early tonight.
Dr. Kelso: I'll have some of that decaf, son.
Turk: Sir, see, this is regular. Yeah, I gotta give Carla the strong stuff just to keep her awake so I can stay up a little later.
Dr. Kelso: Ah, drugging your own wife. Been there. Careful, though. Starts out with coffee, next thing you know, you're rooting around the nightstand for an adrenaline shot to counteract a Valium overdose.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: [v.o.] Okay, you can't bend that way anymore, 'cause when you do, that last vertebrae above your butt sticks out and makes you look like a prehistoric camel.
Carla: What are you thinking?
Elliot: Same ol', same ol'.
Carla: Camel-butt?
Elliot: Yeah.

Janitor Quotes

Quote from My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from My Mentor

J.D.: How's it goin'?
Janitor: I'm 37 years old and I'm a janitor. How do you think it's going?
J.D.: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
Janitor: Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around. I'm going to have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living. And that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whozits, Dr. Nothing. No, seriously, come on. You can come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap.

Quote from My Drama Queen

Janitor: Doctor.
J.D.: Janitor. What's that smell?
Janitor: I don't know. Although it smells a little bit like the truth. My poor wife slaved over these.
J.D.: She just cut off a pair of scrubs and hemmed the bottom. What's the big deal?
Janitor: What's the big deal? Well, the Lord didn't bless my wife with all ten fingers. She's only got pointer and thumb-pinky.