J.D. Quote #711
Quote from J.D. in My First Kill
J.D.: [v.o.] It's strange. Even though a lot of patients have died under my care, I don't think I've killed any of them...
[fantasy: J.D. is in a heavenly diner:]
J.D.: Heaven's a diner?
Mrs. Tanner: Get anything you want, dear.
J.D.: Ooh. Maybe I'll have some flapjacks.
Elaine: They don't have those.
J.D.: No flapjacks in heaven? Are flapjacks evil? D-d-don't worry about it. Listen, dead people, do any of you feel that I may have, you know killed you?
Mr. Bursky: No.
Mr. Simon: I mean, you weren't a great doctor.
Elaine: He was nervous.
Mrs. Tanner: Oh, like a little bird. But no, dear. You didn't kill any of us.
J.D.: You know what? I left my wallet back on earth.
[reality:]
J.D.: Haha, suckers.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My First Kill’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: What do you want?
J.D.: As co-chief resident, I've noticed that some of my residents are a little overwhelmed. And I think it would be nice if you gave 'em one of your patented pep-talks, you know?
Dr. Cox: I'll be more than glad to give your residents a little pep-talk.
[later:]
Dr. Cox: Each and every one of you is going to kill a patient. At some point during your residency, you will screw up, they will die, and it will be burned into your conscience forever. Hell, take pee-pants, here.
Doug: "Pee-pants."
Dr. Cox: He just might go ahead and get himself a good clean kill this morning, seeing as his patient, Miss Samson, is in DKA and he hasn't been tracking her phosphate level. Her phosphate level. Her phosphate level.
J.D.: Doug, stop writing and go!
Dr. Cox: That young man has killed so many patients, I'm starting to think he just might be a government operative. The point is, the harder you study, the longer you just might be able to hold off that first kill. Other than that, I guess cross your fingers and hope that the guy you murder is a jackass with no family. Great to see you kids. All the best!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Mr. Daniels, some fluid has gathered near your heart, so I'm gonna schedule a periocardiocentesis and drain it with a needle.
Mr. Daniels: Someone's gonna stick a needle in my chest?
J.D.: Not just someone. Dr. de Man.
Mr. Daniels: Who is Dr. de Man?
J.D.: Say it say it without the "Dr."
Mr. Daniels: Who's Mr. de Man?
J.D.: No, just say the-the last name.
Mr. Daniels: Who's de Man?
J.D.: I'm de Man! That was awesome! That was fun doing that with you.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: I can clean it for you.
Carla: Why would you do that?
Janitor: I don't know. Still a little drunk from breakfast. Plus, taxidermy used to be kind a hobby of mine. You know, till the state took my license away.
Carla: How come?
Ted: What happened to all the cute little squirrels, Flo?
[flashback: The Janitor addresses an audience of stuffed squirrels in his garage:]
Janitor: Let's call this meeting to order. Uh, first things first, I counted the ballots, and, uh, someone voted twice. Interesting. I'm not pointing fingers, Troy.
[reality:]
Janitor: There were never any squirrels.