Dr. Kelso: Ah, Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Dr. Kelso: And Mrs. Turkleton. The Turkletons. [laughs] Can I get a scotch?

Carla: Hey, Elliot, how are you doing with this whole J.D. thing?
Elliot: [emotionally] I can't believe that on this day you would actually worry about how I'm doing. Carla, you're such an amazing friend.
Carla: Don't do this, Elliot. I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional until after we took the pictures.
Elliot: I just love you so much.
Carla: I love you too!
Elliot: Even though I ripped off your sister's eyebrow?
Carla: That's okay. You know, this morning she actually said she was gonna look better than me!? Not anymore!

Turk: What do you mean, disaster? Honey, this is an amazing wedding. And I know what you're gonna say. We didn't actually get married. But you know what? Tonight, you and I, we're gonna rip it up. And then we're gonna hop on a plane to the Bahamas, where you and I can get married tomorrow amongst the fishes and mermaids and whatnot.
Carla: Turk, for the last time, mermaids aren't real.
Turk: I know what I saw!