Ben: I'm glad you made it. Listen, there's one more thing you have to do for me.
Dr. Cox: You can't keep me from getting drunk.
Ben: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.
Dr. Cox: God, you're, you're so annoying.
Ben: Yeah.
Dr. Cox: OK.
Ben: Good.
Dr. Cox: [to Ben] Hey, where's your camera? Aren't you gonna take some pictures?
J.D.: Pictures of what?
Dr. Cox: You know, crying babies covered in chocolate. People singing happy birthday to my son who've never met him before. You know, the whole routine.
J.D.: Where do you think we are?
[When Dr. Cox turns around, Ben is no longer there]

Dr. Cox: As a rule of thumb, I don't attend parties where the guest of honor has no idea what's going on.
Ben: That's not true. You remember when you and Jordan first got married, and we went to senile Grandpa Morty's 94th birthday party. Remember the one where he tried to get the coat check girl thrown out 'cause she was loyal to the Kaiser.
Dr. Cox: I appreciate your concern, but you don't understand.
Ben: What don't I understand?
Dr. Cox: Well, do you see all these people here? This is not some kind of senior citizens' slumber party. I mean, if it was, I'd have already put Mr. Fordham's hand in a bowl of warm water, but God bless him, he's gonna go ahead and wet the bed anyway. My, my point is, that if I'm not here, people die.
Ben: "If I'm not here people die." Listen, why don't you just let me take this little mental breakdown of yours and I'm gonna put it right here in my pocket and then that way you can piss off for the afternoon and you can let one of the 9,000 other doctors take care of things around here for you.
Dr. Cox: So you haven't noticed that my supporting cast in this Theater of Hell is a veritable who's who of incompetent puppets?

Carla: I hate him for doing this to me. I don't think he understands that "Espinosa" is more than a name to me. It's my heritage. It's also a candy bar in Ecuador. But mostly it's my heritage. I just don't wanna do this, Dr. Kelso, but I already agreed. What should I do?
Dr. Kelso: Well, Nurse Snickers, until now you've been white noise. But as you've forced me to respond, let me tell you a couple of things that only a few people know. I haven't paid my country club dues since '97, but I still tee off every Wednesday at 8:15 and take a bare ass steam when the last putt drops. But, more importantly, I really don't care about any of you or your problems, and you can confirm that with Ted.
Ted: Don't those Espinosas have nougat?