Carla: Can you believe that Elliot, giving me all that attitude?
Turk: You know, two weeks ago an O.R. nurse with like twenty years experience started telling me I was tying the wrong suture.
Carla: But I bet you listened to her, right?
Turk: Nah, I kicked her ass out the O.R. Heh.
Carla: But I bet you were nice about it, right?
Turk: No, I made her cry. The point is, baby, whatever happens with this patient, it's on my shoulders. And it's the same with Elliot and you know that. That's what makes your relationship so complicated. Outside this hospital, yeah, you're the boss of Elliot. And well, you know, you're the boss of me. And baby, you're the boss of everyone. But in this building, Elliot's in charge.
Carla: Am I really the boss of everybody outside of here?
Turk: Baby, you the boss of everybody in the world.

Ted: There you are, you deaf bastard! I hate you so much, every time you utter my name, I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!
Dr. Kelso: Ted, I can hear now.
Ted: Who's Ted?

J.D.: [v.o.] As I was doing the Naked Chicken Dance that my uncle Bart had taught me, I realized that life couldn't get much better than this.
[After Dr. Cox barges in, J.D. grabs a photo frame to cover his private parts]
Dr. Cox: Okay! Now, just because Jordan thinks it's cute that you're violating her little sister doesn't mean that you can use my guest-room for your nerdy, G-rated sexcapades. And oh, my God, what are you doing with my little boy, you sick, sick bastard!?
J.D.: My bad. [turns photo frame around] It's a beautiful shot of you.
Dr. Cox: Jus- Come here! Ju- You filthy, filthy boy! Filthy girl! Filthy girl!
Danni: Aw, you're okay, Little Buddy!
J.D.: [v.o.] No!