J.D. Quote #473
Quote from J.D. in My Lucky Night
Janitor: Hey, come here a sec. We want to do stuff to you.
J.D.: [v.o.] Crap. The Janitor. And he's with Sloppy Joe Guy! Okay, just distract them before they do whatever they've got planned!
Janitor: We were thinkin'.
J.D.: I've got a riddle for you!
Troy: This isn't how you said it would go.
Janitor: Troy! We're listening.
J.D.: Two coins add up to thirty cents and one of them is not a nickel.
Janitor: So what are they?
J.D.: It's a riddle. You figure it out.
Janitor: Troy, get your hat. We're going to the bank.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Lucky Night’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: What the hell?
Janitor: It's a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of 'em wasn't me.
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: Uh, listen, while I have you here. I'm applying for a fellowship, and I could really use a letter of recommendation. I was thinking that, when you wrote it, instead of using a girl's name you could refer to me as "Dr. Dorian." I think it sounds a little more professional and, frankly, each time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside.
Dr. Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiessen! Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One, if someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two, I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring Back the Porn!" Three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor - nay, respected as a man - is to be an island. You are born alone, you damn sure die alone. Isn't that right, Spike? The point is, and you just might want to jot this down: only the weak need help.
J.D.: I should get that tattooed on my neck.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Well, well, well, snip my pickle and call me Shlomo! You're not actually applying for residency director.
Dr. Cox: Oh, I don't know, Bob. Here, I like to think I've accomplished plenty of things much more difficult than this. Why, just yesterday morning I somehow managed to hack into your voice-mail and change the outgoing message to, "Hi, this is Big Bob. Why, I'm not in right now but, at the beep, leave your name and your penis size!"
Dr. Kelso: Perry, have you ever wondered why you've never risen above clinical staff at this hospital? I mean, come on, pal, who do you think the board listens to concerning promotions around here? Why don't I tell you after the beep?
Dr. Steadman: Beeeeeeep.
Dr. Kelso: Bob Kelso. Ten inches.
Dr. Steadman: It's like a baguette!