Jordan Quote #53
Quote from Jordan in My White Whale
Dr. Norris: Zachary, remember what Mr. Cookiepants always says about blowing your nose: "If it's clear, have no fear; if it's bloody, come see your buddy!" What do you want?
Jordan: Well, we're looking for a new pediatrician for our son.
Dr. Norris: And you figured that, even though my patient load is full, since you're on the board of directors and Dr. Cox here is not only an attending at the hospital but also an internationally renowned pain-in-the-ass, you both could show complete disregard for my schedule and make me want to cause you grievous bodily harm even before we were properly introduced? Helloooo. I'm Dr. Norris.
Jordan: Charmed.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My White Whale’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Enjoy. I didn't cut the hand off. I used a different puppet for that.
Dr. Norris: Well, if you want, you could give that one to me and I could fix it. And have it... for the kids.
Dr. Cox: Disturbing fetishes aside, I-I feel like I owe you an apology on account of acting like a jackass. But I don't think that my son should be the one who has to pay for it.
Dr. Norris: You actually think that I would endanger the health of a child because you're a jackass? Look, buddy, most of the parents I deal with are jackasses. Now, don't get me wrong, you're in the top five.
Dr. Cox: Thank you!
Dr. Norris: You're welcome. Still, the reason why I have yet to see your child is because he has the sniffles.
Dr. Cox: The sniffles?
Dr. Norris: The sniffles! Look, you're a doctor, you have what I like to call The Burden of Knowledge. You're gonna be worse than every parent who freaks out because their kid eats Play-Doh. Why? Because you've seen too much. You've seen what can really go wrong. If you don't get a handle on that, it's gonna crush you.
Quote from J.D.
Sean: You know, I had the same problem when I started working with the dolphins.
J.D.: Okay, that's it. I-I'm sorry, Sean, I'm a doctor, okay? I-I'm teaching humans, not dolphins, okay? So it isn't really helpful for me to know what works on fish.
Sean: They're mammals, actually.
J.D.: Oh, well, Sean! Unfortunately for me, my interns aren't mammals!
Sean: J.D., they are.
J.D.: Ssh. I don't care, Sean!
Quote from J.D.
Janitor: Heh-hah-hah. You drew on the wall. You drew on the wall!
J.D.: You pulled the paper away!
Janitor: Stop lying. It's gonna come off, right?
[flashback:]
J.D.: Dan, don't! That's dad's indelible space pen! And prom is in like two weeks!
[flashback:]
J.D.: Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Shefford. I'm here to pick up Amy for [points to forehead] prom.
[present:]
J.D.: Yeah. That- That'll come off. You won't have to get laser surgery or skin from your ass or anything.
Janitor: Hmm?