J.D. Quote #409
Quote from J.D. in My Interpretation
J.D.: I think Dr. Cox would be more willing to help if he knew it was his baby.
[fantasy: Dr. Cox's head on the baby]
Dr. Cox: What do you say, Stephanie? How about you step up to the plate and tell the guy. My God, I'm only three weeks old and already I've got more stones than you do. One of mine hasn't even dropped yet.
J.D.: It's not my place to tell.
Dr. Cox: Whaa! Whaa! Whaa!
[reality:]
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I know that your ovaries are absolutely tingling at the furry sight of this little fellow, but you gotta snap out of it.
Features in the collection: J.D.'s Best Fantasies.
Scrubs Quotes
‘J.D.'s Best Fantasies’
Quote from J.D. in My Quarantine
Kylie: So, uh, what's wrong with this guy?
J.D.: Well, let's see. Fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?
Man: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I said something stupid.
J.D.: Could be SARS.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot that if any doctor suspects SARS, it's cause for immediate quarantine lockdown.
[fantasy: Indiana Jones theme plays as sirens blare and doors shutter across the I.C.U. Jordan, now wearing a fedora, dives under the shutter as it closes]
Dr. Cox: What have you done, Newbie?
Danni: [holding a flask] Quarantinis, anyone?
Quote from J.D. in My Words of Wisdom
J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.
‘My Interpretation’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: Okay, I still wanna refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign to me.
Janitor: Benign... Benign-and-a-half.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Look... Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you. I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: Oh, I was outside in the bushes. Look, it was just a coincidence, man. If you had looked out the window you would have seen my penis.
Janitor: What?! Why?!
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours.
Quote from Ted
Carla: If you're having dreams about another woman, maybe you're not ready for marriage.
Turk: Baby.
Carla: Just take it. Are you crazy? Baby, it was only a sex dream. Everybody has them. Right, Ted?
Ted: Oh, no, not me. I just have the one dream over and over. I hold his head under the water till the last bubble goes bloop.
Dr. Kelso: Ted. What's the ETA on those Double Stufs?
Ted: Bloop.