Todd Quote #39

Quote from Todd in My Own Private Practice Guy

Carla: I'm hideous. I can't even get Todd to make a sex joke. Watch this. Hey, Todd, I'm all out of extra-long tongue depressors. Do you happen to have one for me?
Todd: Sorry, Carla, I'm all out.
Elliot: How did he not say, "In my pants?"
Carla: Oh, God. I don't know what is so different about me since I got engaged? [takes ring off]
Todd: Wait. I found one. It's not made of wood, but give me a minute. [Carla puts ring on] Hey, have you checked Mr. Oberman for hypertension? [off] Because I've got hypertension right here.
Elliot: No way.
Todd: [ring off] Boobies. [ring on] Charts.

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 ‘My Own Private Practice Guy’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, buddy. I was just thinking about you. Yeah, I was thinking how it might be real nice to have somebody around here who could help me out. You know, somebody I could call, gosh, my resident, and we'd do stuff together. You know, medical stuff. And it would just be peaches. But then it occurred to me a guy who looked a hell of lot like you used to be that guy. Monica, just because you have a new buddy doesn't mean you can all of a sudden drop all of your regular duties and I know I just said "drop your duties." And so help me God, if you even smile I will crush you into two little Newbie cubes and hang you from my rearview mirror. What you gotta say for yourself? Just do it.
J.D.: I'm sorry, did you say something?
[fantasy: Dr. Pete Fisher appears in the corner of the screen:]
Pete: Welcome to today's lecture: the Biomechanical Reaction Of Dr. Perry Cox When He's Not Being Listened To. Stage one: The Jaw Clench. Grrr. Quickly followed by stage two: Syllable Elongation.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I re-hee-hee-ly don't have time to repeat myself.
Pete: Finally, stage three, Dr. Cox begrudgingly offers a little respect, but then distances himself by overusing the word "there."
Dr. Cox: But I gotta give it to you there for yanking my chain there. There.
Pete: The young soldier is offered a prize for his courage. [walks into the scene] Get ready.
[reality:]
Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what there, Newbie. If you wanna stick around and help me out with Mrs. Riley's pericardiocentisis after work, that'd be great.

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: I want you to tell her the truth, damn it. Tell her that you're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being. Who's that?
Janitor: It's my son.
Elliot: Oh, my God, J.D.
J.D.: I'm sorry, I didn't even see him there.
Janitor: No, no, no. I'm glad he heard it. I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.
J.D.: I'm so sorry. [exits]
Janitor: [to the boy] Who the hell are you? Go on. Beat it. Scram! All right, stick around.

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: I know it was you.
Turk: You mean this right here? This is mine from home.
Dr. Kelso: 40 million, son. Do you have any idea how many patients I had to ignore to get that high score? People died.