J.D. Quote #380
Quote from J.D. in My Own Private Practice Guy
Pete: I think he's mad because I went into private practice and he's stuck in this hellhole. You wouldn't believe this, but that guy was my mentor, man. I lived and breathed for that guy's approval.
J.D.: That's lame.
Pete: I know, but once you learn his tricks, it's easier, you see.
J.D.: Tell me about it.
Pete: Yeah.
J.D.: No, I'm serious. Tell me about it.
Pete: Oh. Oh. Well, you know when he gets on his rants, he gets all hyped up, his veins stick out of his neck and he starts yelling at you? When he's done, just look at him, stare him in the eye and say, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I don't know why, but it works. Trust me.
J.D.: No, I do. Now, how do you get him to stop calling you girls' names?
Pete: Girls' names?
J.D.: Oh, never mind.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Own Private Practice Guy’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, buddy. I was just thinking about you. Yeah, I was thinking how it might be real nice to have somebody around here who could help me out. You know, somebody I could call, gosh, my resident, and we'd do stuff together. You know, medical stuff. And it would just be peaches. But then it occurred to me a guy who looked a hell of lot like you used to be that guy. Monica, just because you have a new buddy doesn't mean you can all of a sudden drop all of your regular duties and I know I just said "drop your duties." And so help me God, if you even smile I will crush you into two little Newbie cubes and hang you from my rearview mirror. What you gotta say for yourself? Just do it.
J.D.: I'm sorry, did you say something?
[fantasy: Dr. Pete Fisher appears in the corner of the screen:]
Pete: Welcome to today's lecture: the Biomechanical Reaction Of Dr. Perry Cox When He's Not Being Listened To. Stage one: The Jaw Clench. Grrr. Quickly followed by stage two: Syllable Elongation.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I re-hee-hee-ly don't have time to repeat myself.
Pete: Finally, stage three, Dr. Cox begrudgingly offers a little respect, but then distances himself by overusing the word "there."
Dr. Cox: But I gotta give it to you there for yanking my chain there. There.
Pete: The young soldier is offered a prize for his courage. [walks into the scene] Get ready.
[reality:]
Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what there, Newbie. If you wanna stick around and help me out with Mrs. Riley's pericardiocentisis after work, that'd be great.
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: I want you to tell her the truth, damn it. Tell her that you're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being. Who's that?
Janitor: It's my son.
Elliot: Oh, my God, J.D.
J.D.: I'm sorry, I didn't even see him there.
Janitor: No, no, no. I'm glad he heard it. I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.
J.D.: I'm so sorry. [exits]
Janitor: [to the boy] Who the hell are you? Go on. Beat it. Scram! All right, stick around.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: I know it was you.
Turk: You mean this right here? This is mine from home.
Dr. Kelso: 40 million, son. Do you have any idea how many patients I had to ignore to get that high score? People died.