Ted Quote #29

Quote from Ted in My Philosophy

Ted: So I hear they're making that office into the ladies' locker room?
Dr. Kelso: Yes, Ted.
Ted: Bummer. Hey, maybe, whoever's over here might not stay there forever.
[later:]
Dr. Mitchell: Well, I'm doing a research fellowship, so I'll be anywhere from 15 to 25 years.
Ted: That's a long time.
Dr. Mitchell: Yeah!
Ted: [to Dr. Kelso] You'll probably be dead.

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 ‘My Philosophy’ Quotes

Quote from Turk

Turk: All right, Ralphie, new tack. I want you to do what I do. I want you to imagine that there are tiny men inside your booty, trying to push the dookie. Push the dookie out, Ralphie. Can you imagine that for me?
[later:]
Man: You told my son there were little men inside him? He barely sleeps as it is.
Turk: Sir, I'm sorry. I was wrong.
Man: That was sick.
Turk: But still, if you could do this for me, I would greatly appreciate it. The next time your son has a bowel movement, take the dookie, put it in a Ziplock bag, and just call me on my cell phone. It's for my girlfriend. Hey, Ralphie. Little men, pushing it out, pushing it out.

Quote from Nurse Roberts

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, are you off for the day?
Elliot: Oh, I just didn't have a place to change.
Nurse Roberts: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I'm going to pretend you're not wearing that.
Nurse Roberts: Don't you usually wait to get home before you do that?

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: Thanks for the pen.
J.D.: Oh, no.
Janitor: Yeah, this was my favorite T-shirt. And this is my favorite skin.