J.D. Quote #318

Quote from J.D. in My Monster

J.D.: So it appears Mrs. Watson has developed a post-op infection at her thyroidectomy site.
Mrs. Watson: Ow!
Dr. Cox: Newbie, when a patient has an infection, I make it a general policy not to actually push on it. Start Ancef, one gram Q eight hours and... Oh, my God, did I just ask my ex-wife to move in with me?
J.D.: Mm-hmm. [off Nurse Roberts' look] What? You don't own that.

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 ‘My Monster’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Kelso

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid? What are you doing in here?
Elliot: Um, hi, Dr. Kelso. I was just... I was on call.
Dr. Kelso: Well, I have the call sheet right here and your name doesn't seem to be on it. But what do I know? I'm just a kindly old man who doesn't know the difference between a doctor on call and one who maybe just needs a warm bed for the night.
Elliot: Oh, I've just been so swamped with work I couldn't even make time to find a new place.
Dr. Kelso: I understand. Life is hard and all that. But if you want a bed in my hospital, you better have a damn rent check or a massive coronary in the next five seconds. And believe me, missy, either one's fine with me.
Elliot: Thank you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: No problem.

Quote from J.D.

Turk: I fell you, man. I mean, I consider myself a romantic guy who's really stressed out and I thought the person who'd understand would be Carla.
Dr. Cox: I think the weird thing is that I'm really trying this time.
Turk: I just wonder if I'm what she really wants.
Dr. Cox: I wonder if I'll ever be able to make it work out with anyone.
J.D.: My peep's on the fritz.
Turk: Dude!
Dr. Cox: Poor Newbie.
J.D.: No, no, no. I'm talking about you guys. You guys are like my peeps, you're my dogs, and you're on the fritz, so that's where I get "peeps", "fritz" came from.
Dr. Cox: God love you, Newbie. [Turk whistles] Thank you for giving me some perspective.

Quote from J.D.

Carla: We're talking about you now, studly.
J.D.: OK, so I'm in a bit of a dry spell. I have no idea what to do with myself.
Turk: Why don't you give Rowdy a bath? He smells a little ripe.
J.D.: Please. I'm a young, single player with a heart of gold. I should be able to stir something up.
[cut to J.D. and Rowdy in the bath:]
J.D.: How do you get so dirty? [water gurgles] Rowdy.