Dr. Kelso Quote #70
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Big Mouth
Turk: I know Dr. Wen recommended Bonnie.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turk, I chose you over that nice young lady because we're going to be moving around a lot and I can't be pulling over every two minutes for pee-pee stops and nylons that come in plastic eggs.
Turk: Dr. Kelso, don't you think that's a little sexist?
Dr. Kelso: I don't know, sport. Is it sexist to hold the door for a woman? Is it sexist to keep the pretty nurses and unload a few uggos? The rules have changed so much, I just can't keep up. Tell you what, let's stop jiggling each other's marbles. You decide who should go. That way, when you choose yourself, I won't have to deal with all this horrible guilt.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Big Mouth’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: You're gonna love this one. Twenty-five-year-old woman, dancer, actually. Well, not anymore. I'm afraid we had to take both of her legs. Bilateral gangrene. And seeing as her husband recently passed away, and her insurance at the dancers' union probably is not going to cover it, you should go ahead and tell her she won't be able to stay here with us for her rehab.
Elliot: Um, what room is she in?
Dr. Cox: There is no room. In fact, in the history of medicine, there's never actually been a patient that depressing. I made her up! Come on, now, Barbie. You keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof and jump the hell off. Mind you, it's only five stories high, so that means you'll just wind up back down here, where I, of course, will be the one who has to treat you. And then I'll be forced to jump off the roof, which, as I was suggesting to you, is only five stories high. And are you starting to see a pattern forming here?
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: What's up?
J.D.: [v.o.] Be careful here. Don't give him anything.
J.D.: Nothing. What is up with you, man?
Janitor: I always get this way in the fall. You know, summer's gone, the days are shorter. It just makes me feel so... What's the word?
J.D.: Sad?
Janitor: Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad." I was going to say "it makes me feel so mop."
J.D.: Let me explain. I-
Janitor: Go ahead. I'm mopping.
J.D.: Maybe I shouldn't bother.
Janitor: Maybe you mopn't.
Quote from Carla
J.D.: Rough day, huh? Well, maybe it would help to share with someone.
Carla: OK, you want in? You want me to open up?
J.D.: I think I can handle it.
Carla: Fine.
[fantasy: Carla peels back her forehead, revealing a white, glowing source of heat:]
Carla: I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I think, I don't like the way I feel about how I look and think.
[Carla's brain shoots a heat ray at J.D.'s face, which melts]
Carla: I have too much hair, my boobs are too low, my butt is too big, and I am too short.
[reality:]
Carla: Plus, I woke up and cried because I thought I was getting wrinkles, but it turns out I just fell asleep on Turk's corduroy pants.