J.D.: What's wrong?
Janitor: I lost my mop.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: No. But that's the only thing that could make me unhappy, right? You people, you think of me as nothing but The Janitor.
J.D.: That's not true.
Janitor: What's my name? [covers name badge]
J.D.: I know that the nurses call you Sir Plunge-a-lot.
Janitor: I know.
J.D.: Come on. I'm sure you don't know my name so-
Janitor: John Michael Dorian.
J.D.: How did you know my middle name?
Janitor: Because I care.

J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and honestly I think the only reason you're not down at that hospital right now is that you're afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. That's partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because, well... I told you that I was afraid earlier, so please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate to me things I've already said, because I know the things that I've already said. In fact, I'm the one who said them.

Dr. Cox: They probably like it too, whether they admit it or not.
Dr. Kelso: Well...
Dr. Cox: "Oh, the old guy's so tough on me, but I love him." Right? Right? They hate you, Bob. They hate you from your the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork. They hate you, dear God, they hate you good.
Nurse Roberts: [laughs]
Dr. Kelso: What're you laughing at?
Nurse Roberts: That "hooves" and "pitchfork" part. Why?
Dr. Kelso: No reason.