Turk Quote #91
Elliot: So it turns out she wasn't pregnant after all. Some idiot had mislabeled her sample.
Turk: I was a heartbeat away from giving an appendix patient a crotch lobotomy. If I do my best and I lose a patient, you know what, I can live with that. But if a clerical error is the reason a guy's walking around here with only the lonely, damn, that don't sit well with the big dog.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Ben, good news, man.
Ben: Hey, J.D. Let's get a picture together.
Ben: Come on.
J.D.: [v.o.] It was weird how everyone had come to see Ben off.
Ben: Everybody in.
J.D.: [v.o.] After all, he'd only been here one day and there wasn't even anything wrong with him.
J.D.: Wait. Why would you want a picture like that? I thought you said posed pictures aren't real.
Ben: Come on, J.D. None of this is real. You know that.
J.D.: What do you mean?
Ben: Think about it.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: What do you want me to do, cry?
J.D.: Can you do that?
Elliot: Sure. Give me a second to think of something sad.
J.D.: Quickly. Quickly.
Elliot: OK, that's not helping.
J.D.: I shouldn't have put you in this position.
Elliot: [getting emotional] Oh, there we go. Another man in my life, trying to protect me.
J.D.: Stay with it, Elliot.
Elliot: Everyone thinks I'm this little girl who can't take any criticism because her mom and dad give her nothing but criticism.
J.D.: Good, Elliot, this is good.
Elliot: And look where it's gotten me. You know, I'm 26, single and all I do is work. You know, I may as well just give up the idea of being in a healthy and happy relationship and just go ahead and... And... And...
J.D.: Become your mother?
Elliot: Yeah. [sobbing] Check Mr. Sullivan's tests again.
Quote from My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from My Life in Four Cameras
Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?