Turk: Sir, whatever happened to Bunny? We gotta know.
Dr. Kelso: Well, actually, the music came before Bunny. I learned to play the guitar growing up as a young rapscallion in Mississippi. But things didn't really take off until I moved to Memphis. Then I met the Colonel, and the hits just kept coming. Unfortunately, it went to my head. I gained a lot of weight, started wearing a white jumpsuit and ate tranquilizers like they were trail mix.
Elliot: Sir.
Dr. Kelso: Then, in 1977, I died on the toilet. Or did I?
Turk: You never played the guitar?
Dr. Kelso: Son, that crap is for hippies! Now, for God's sake, get back to work.
Elliot: Yes, sir.
Dr. Kelso: [as Elvis] Thank you very much.

Jordan: Hey, honey, I'm home. You know, you should lock your door. There's horrible people out there.
Dr. Cox: There's horrible people right in here.
Jordan: Maybe you forgot how this works. See, when I say that "Hi, honey" thing, you take your pants off. You see, them's the rules of the booty call.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, believe me, I enjoy our meaningless post-divorce sex as much as the next guy you marry will, but your timing could not be worse.
Jordan: Oh, maybe you don't remember the terms of our settlement. When Jordan needs sex, Jordan gets sex.
Dr. Cox: Listen, sweet cheeks, I am seeing someone who...
Jordan: Let me guess! Dark hair, domineering, doesn't take any of your crap? You see, a lesser person would mock your inability to move on. I'm gonna consider it an homage.

Jordan: That was really great, but next time, would you not look me in the eye? It really gets in the way of what I come here to do.
Dr. Cox: Then for God's sake stop turnin' around.
Jordan: Well, that's classy.