J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

J.D.: Nurse Roberts, have you seen Josh?
Nurse Roberts: The tall skinny one? He quit.
Carla: Nice job, Bambi.
J.D.: I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't.
Nurse Roberts: You don't have to apologize to me. You will have to answer to Jesus.

J.D.: Put your gloves on, Josh. I need you to get an ABG.
Josh: I can't.
J.D.: Newbie, wait.
Carla: "Newbie"?
J.D.: Shut up. Look, Josh, you're the only one who knows whether you wanna be a doctor or not. But right now I kinda got my hands full. OK? So what do you say you put some gloves on, Shirley, and get the hell in here? Now, locate the radial pulse. Josh, look at me. You can do this.
Carla: It looks good.
Josh: No way.
J.D.: What do you want, a cookie? Go put your scrubs on and get back here. Go, go, go!