J.D.: You are not gonna believe what Dr. Cox- It's you.
Elliot: Yeah. It's me.
J.D.: [v.o.] Ugh. Could Turk have picked anyone worse to be doing this project with?
[fantasy:]
Janitor: If this is a peripheral vascular disease study, then I'd find it essential to exclude all claudication patients not currently on pentoxifylline. What are you lookin' at?

Dr. Cox: Oh, my God, would you look at this hellhole? If I have to see more broken-down equipment, one more gomer who is shuffled back and forth between some godforsaken home, one more patient who is denied treatment because they got the wrong insurance, I... There are times when I'm all by myself that I concentrate as hard as I can to see if I can catch on fire like the Human Torch. And mark my words, Newbie, if I ever pull it off, I will be back here to destroy this place.
J.D.: I used to like the Silver Surfer. Hang ten! Hang-

Bartender: You owe me $53.
J.D.: I think I left my wallet in my other onesie.
[later:]
Carla: So the bartender just let you skip out on the tab?
J.D.: He said I could pay him back by giving him a complete physical, which is actually scary because I never said I was a doctor.