Dr. Kelso: Maybe you should just order.
Carla: I'll have an espresso, please, and... What kind of scones do you have?
Man: [coughs loudly] Son of a bitch. Do you mind, lady? I am in a rush.
Carla: Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry. What am I doing, thinking I can take an extra six seconds to pick my breakfast? I'm going to have to call my mom, tell her she did a lousy job raising me. Thank you so much.
Dr. Kelso: I think what she means is, she doesn't give a crappuccino. Allan, this is on me. God help me, I love spunk.

Dr. Cox: The addict said he quit? Oh ,why wouldn't you tell me that? That changes everything.
J.D.: I believe in Mr. Barnes.
Dr. Cox: Just because you have a new girlfriend doesn't mean that the world has suddenly turned into a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck, they do. Barbie here still can't decide what to do with those annoying bangs, and addicts everywhere will still lie to get a fix. Now, you've got to wake up, sweetheart. You're gonna be late for school. Aw, you wet the bed. Why can't I have a normal child without these problems?

Nurse Roberts: I don't think we should stand for it. Dr. Kelso can't just decide we're not allowed to switch shifts any more. I was supposed to see my nephew tonight in Pippin.
Nurse: Who's he playing?
Nurse Roberts: Pippin. Bob Kelso is a bad man.
Carla: I don't know. We never think about how hard it is to always be the bad guy.
Nurse Roberts: I want him to die. [to Dr. Kelso] Hello, sweetness.