J.D. Quote #108
Quote from J.D. in My Own Personal Jesus
J.D.: [v.o.] Childbirth has been so romanticised. I guess because if people knew the truth...
[fantasy: a public information video from the '50s:]
Narrator: [v.o.] Congratulations! You're expecting. Don't worry, your doctor will tell you everything you need to know. Hi, doctor.
J.D.: You'll fart, pee, puke and poop in front of ten complete strangers who'll be staring intently at your vagina, which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing.
Woman: You do it.
[reality:]
J.D.: [v.o.] Still, no matter what the realities, the end result is always the same.
J.D.: Oh, look at the baby.
Male Doctor: [with narrator's voice] It's a bouncing baby boy. Yet another soldier in the fight against Communism!
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Own Personal Jesus’ Quotes
Quote from Jordan
Dr. Cox: I'm assuming, since you already went ahead and took everything else, that you're here for my self-respect, but there's bad news on that one, sweet-cheeks. I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry you. [laughs]
Jordan: Oh, I wouldn't have room for it, what with your testicles in my trophy case.
Dr. Cox: Holy cow. Who's better? You got me by the short hairs.
Jordan: See ya.
Quote from Janitor
J.D.: [v.o.] Still, there are some traditions I enjoy. Like Nurse Tisdale's 9.15 cup of coffee.
[fantasy: Nurse Tisdale walking towards J.D. in a bikini]
Elliot: Carla, what time is it?
Carla: Oh, I don't know but I'm guessing it's about 9.15 ish.
J.D.: Oh, this thing! Who put this up?
Janitor: I did. I drove round the whole city before my 5am shift, just looking for that. Trying to add a little cheer. [laughs] You will not ruin my Christmas. Not again. Not this year.
J.D.: I've only worked here for three months.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: You know, I don't want to sound insensitive, but why don't these people have any money?
Elliot: I don't know, sir, they probably waste it all on food. Dr. Kelso, I need you to precept a patient. Nineteen-year-old complaining of abdominal pain, turns out she's at least eight months pregnant. I'm just going to let one of the family practice people handle it.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that sounds like a wonderful idea, sweetheart, except I heard your smart-aleck remark a second ago, so why don't you just keep your little pregnant girl? It'll be good practice for you since you'll probably end up in a female specialty anyway.
Elliot: What do you mean by that? I'm internal medicine.
Dr. Kelso: Well, of course you are. But numbers don't lie and most women end up in OB-GYN, family practice or pediatrics. It's like a riptide, sweetheart, pulling and pulling, and you can swim against the current all you want. But when Mr. Stork comes a-calling, you're not going to be thinking, "I'm internal medicine." It's gonna be, "Oh! Look at the baby!"
Elliot: Sir, I have to say, I'm offended.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.