J.D.: Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. Oh, good. He's not here. Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox: It's time. Sit down. Now, what do you want me to say? That you're great? That you're raising the bar for interns everywhere?
J.D.: I'm cool with that.
Dr. Cox: Well, I'm not gonna say that. You're OK. You might be better than that some day. But right now all I see is a guy who's so worried about what everybody thinks of him that he has no real belief in himself. I mean, did you even wonder why I told you to do your own evaluation?
J.D.: I can't think of a safe answer, I just figured-
Dr. Cox: Clam up! I wanted you to think about yourself. And I mean really think. What are you good at? What do you suck at? And then I wanted you to put it down on paper, and not so I could see it, and not so anybody else could see it, but so that you could see it. Because ultimately, you don't have to answer to me, you don't have to answer to Kelso, you don't even have to answer to your patients, for God's sake. You only have to answer to one guy, Newbie, and that's you! There... you are evaluated. Get the hell outta my sight. You, honest to God, get me so angry I'm afraid I might hurt myself.

Anchorwoman: We're almost ready. Is there anything you wanna say before we get started?
[fantasy: J.D. does the interview dressed as a professional wrestler:]
J.D.: Yeah, I've got something to say to Dr. Cox. I'm gonna give you the best damn evaluation that you ever did see. And this Friday, at the Steel Cage Medi-Slam, I'm gonna give you a physical you ain't never gonna forget.
I'm gonna probe ya, 'cause I'm The Intern.
[reality:]
Anchorwoman: Nothing. OK, I'll be right back.

[fantasy scene:]
J.D.: Holy inferiority complex, Batman! How low is my self-esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
Turk: It could be worse, Robin. You could be Alfred the butler.
J.D.: [as Alfred] Damn you, sir.