Jordan Quote #6
Dr. Cox: Don't look her in the eyes, Newbie. She'll steal your soul. So, how are things down in the underworld?
Jordan: Good. And you? Still have a rollicking social life?
Dr. Cox: Since I cut you loose it's been one big party.
Jordan: In the next five seconds, name some place, other than the hospital and your apartment, you've been in the last month. Five, four, three, two...
Dr. Cox: My car! On the way to the big party.
Jordan: Ooh, that must have hurt.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Since your jaw is wired shut, we're going to give you IV nutrition for a couple of days, OK? Oh, sorry, you can't answer. It's like going to the dentist. I hate when they ask you questions and you have that stuff in your mouth, don't you? Oh, my God, I did it again. Dr. Greenberg. Doctor? What kind of doctor are you? I keep doing it. Okay, okay. Just act it out. Head? Shrinking. A shrink! You're a shrink. Wow, I can't imagine picking psychiatry as a specialty after interning as a real doctor. That didn't come out right. It's just my dad. He's a doctor too. He says therapy is for people with more money than problems. But then my dad says a lot of things.
Nurse: Did anyone page a nurse?
Nurse: It looks like his eyes are screaming.
Elliot: Please, we're talking. Where was I?
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Hey, you should enjoy this while you can, Bobby. Because if your evil genie does grant your wish, and I disappear, the only person you'll have left to contend with will be yourself. And when you really get to know that person, oh, dear God, you'll scream so loud, Satan will want to rip up the contract you signed at birth just so he can get some sleep.
Dr. Kelso: Look at you with your stiff upper lip. I think I'm gonna miss that the most. [sings] Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily...
Quote from Turk
Carla: Look, you wanted to spend the whole night together. I can't leave my mother alone. She's frail.
[Carla's mother storms into the room with a cane]
Mrs. Espinonsa: [yells in Spanish]
Turk: Baby, tell her to put the cane down!
Carla: Mama, [speaks Spanish]
Turk: Tell her to put the cane down!
Carla: She doesn't want me to have men here because I'm unmarried.
Turk: Well, tell her I needed a place to crash. She doesn't have to know we had sex all night.
Carla: She speaks English.
Turk: Then what the hell are you translating for?
Carla: Because you don't speak Spanish!
Turk: Oh, ola!
Mrs. Espinonsa: No! No!
Turk: Tell her to put the cane down.
Quote from My Life in Four Cameras
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. Would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird. I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the hate?
Jordan: Again, last night.
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Quote from My Last Day
J.D.: Oh, Ms. Sullivan, thank you for helping us with Mr. Bober.
Jordan: Oh, don't mention it. And even though I wasn't invited to your little party, I brought presents for everyone.
Dr. Cox: Brace yourself there, Newbie.
Jordan: Carla, my ex-husband is in love with you. It's true. Ask your boyfriend. He knows. He and Perry talk about it all the time. I don't know why you haven't mentioned this to her. Perhaps you're afraid of something. Huh. And, Bob, when are you gonna tell Perry that that promotion you're making him jump through hoops for was filled months ago? It just seems wrong. Which brings us to Twinkie. If you don't have the courage to tell your "colleague" Dr. Dorian that you're still crazy about him, I'm gonna do it for you, 'cause that's what friends do. Yeah. And finally, Perry, you are not gonna believe what happened the first time I met your little protege here.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, please, God, no.
Jordan: I slept with him, and it was good. Oh, how's that for stirring things up? Have a great summer, everyone. Bye.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yup. One big happy family.
Quote from My Last Day
Elliot: He doesn't have insurance, so if you could talk to the other members of board today at the meeting, J.D. thought maybe-
Jordan: J.D. thought? First he dumps that patient on you, and now he wants you to ask me a favor? Honey, if you don't start saying no to him soon, you're gonna wind up on the losing end of a little game I like to call Hide The Pickle.
Elliot: Oh, J.D. and I are just colleagues.
Jordan: Oh, my God. I was just joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?
Elliot: [scoffs] A little.
Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about. Sex is for making babies and revenge.