J.D. Quote #1430
Quote from J.D. in My Turf War
J.D.: You know what, I should probably go. It's late. I forgot to pay my check. There's a credit card for you. It's quiet in here. I think the music went off again. Someone want to tap that juke box for me? No? Okay. Wow! You guys can stare off a long time without letting your eyes blink. That's amazing. That's- I try and do that and I can never really do it when I've tried.
Bartender: Sorry, the machine's busted.
J.D.: Unfortunate. Okay. Thank you, Frank. I will pay cash. Ben Franklin here should take care of things. A one hundred dollar bill.
Bartender: I don't got change for that.
J.D.: He doesn't got change. That's how he says that. Okay. Mmh. Surely, one of my lady friends could... No. All right. You know what? I'm going to pay one hundred dollars for that Appletini. I like you. You're a good barman. You never tease me when I order the 'tinis.
Bartender: Drink 'em myself.
J.D.: Good Night. [walks away, returns] I can't spend a hundred dollars on an Appletini! It's absurd! That's like ten Tinis, with a tip! No, that must be something else I can buy. How much is that weird melted fox tale?
Bartender: Actually, that's a beard.
J.D.: You can probably keep that then. It's probably a family heirloom. You know what, Frank? I'm gonna do it. One hundred dollars for one Appletini, that was frankly light on the 'tini. All right. Good night. I found a fiver in my pocket.
Melody: No!
J.D.: Keep that too.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Turf War’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
[As a boy plays with a toy car in his bed, he accidentally knocks over his juice carton]
Devin: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Carla: Hey, it's okay.
Devin: But now the Ghost Who Hates Spills is gonna come.
Carla: Who?
Janitor: You're right, Devin. He might come this very night. And as you know, that ghost's entire family was killed by a careless spill. Just like yours. Just like yours. Hmm.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Lloyd: I have chest tinglies.
Dr. Cox: Lloyd, you're 40 years old and you're a delivery man, so you should be suffering from a pretty severe case of the "where-did-I-go-wrongsies". But, other than that, you're fine. I ran every test. There's nothing wrong with you.
Lloyd: But the pain starts here, and then it goes along, and then skips this area, and then starts hurting again here, and then of course there's the tinglies.
Dr. Cox: [long pause] I'm gonna head out now, Lloyd.
Quote from Turk
Dr. Cox: You tricked me?
Turk: I couldn't have done it without my supporting players. Ladies and gentlemen, my muse, my shining light, Miss Carla Turk.
Carla: Stop being mean to my husband!
Turk: And of course, playing the cantankerous chief of medicine, you know him, you love to hate him, Dr.
Bob Kelso!
[After Bob Kelso runs there with a smile on his face, the trio take a bow]
Turk: Again.
Dr. Kelso: Ah, that was fun.
Turk: Don't mess with me ever again.
Carla: I'm so proud of you, baby!
Turk: You know what I do when I do...