Elliot Quote #494
Quote from Elliot in My Fishbowl
Elliot: Brian, this is just a sad back. You can't let it take you to such a bad place.
Brian: Ah, I'm not a bad place. But if I were, it'd be understandable, right? 'cause what the hell do I have to live for? I mean, the only thing waiting for me in my crappy apartment is this whole disability check to remind me that the only place that I ever felt like I really belonged doesn't want me anymore. But not to worry, I'm sure there's a huge demand out there for a high school grad who can't sign his name and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't faze a five year old. There is no happy future for me, so please, do not tell me it's all gonna turn around.
Dr. Cox: Nobody's leavin' this room until you admit to us what you did.
Brian: Why should I admit anything to you since you guys aren't, um, that truthful one to each other?
J.D.: [v.o.] Sometimes to get the truth out of someone, you have to come clean yourself.
Carla: Dr. Cox, I'm the one who switched your picture.
Dr. Cox: Carla.
Turk: I slept with Stacy.
J.D.: I knew it!
J.D.: [v.o.] Of course some admissions you don't see coming.
Elliot: I once tried to kill myself.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Fishbowl’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Ted: I don't get it, sir. Why do our doctors have to put up pictures of themselves in their patients' rooms?
Dr. Kelso: Because, Ted, not only does it make our doctors more accountable, but a recent AMA study showed that it helps our patients feel much closer bond with their physician. Plus, who wouldn't want this young buck at their bedside.
Nurse Roberts: That picture's so old that the beaches are still segregated. Look, that's us way in the back. Doesn't that bother you?
Dr. Kelso: Good God, I'm stunning.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Carla: So what, I'm not funny?
Dr. Cox: Oh, I think you're very funny, when you're being sarcastic or you're up on your high horse. You know, as long as you stay right in your wheelhouse. And it's no different for any of us. Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck. Your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.
Turk: Yeah, you know, I do what I do when I do what I do.
Dr. Cox: The janitor is amusing because, quite frankly, he's insane.
Janitor: I made shoes for my rabbit.
Dr. Cox: And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase. I assume that because I just called you Alice, that you're now fantasizing about me being the maid in The Brady Bunch.
[fantasy: Dr. Cox is wearing a blue maid's uniform with a big, puffy hair]
Dr. Cox: Am I right?
[reality:]
J.D.: [v.o.] He was.
Dr. Cox: Now sadly, some people just aren't funny, but they have got funny names. For example: Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor and Snoop Dogg Intern.
Snoop Dogg Resident: Hey, hey.
Dr. Cox: My bad, Snoop Dog Resident. The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God, which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the hospital sad sack.
Ted: I am?
Dr. Cox: Yes.
Ted: Aw.
Dr. Cox: And me? Well, I'm funny because I commit. C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T....T. I also do, uh, funny rants. To tell you the truth, there is only one guy in this entire dump who is funny no matter what he says.
Dr. Kelso: Holy hell, are my new boxers made of wool? Because my weasel's getting heat stroke!
Dr. Cox: The point is: please, don't tell any more jokes.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Bitches, leave!
Nurse Roberts: It's go-time.
Turk: No, no, no, no. No, we're playing "guess the movie quote". That was from Robocop. It's my turn. "I could've got more out".
J.D.: Schindler's List. I took my college girlfriend Stacy Blue to see that on our first date. I cried, she didn't. Always thought that was weird.