J.D. Quote #1359

Quote from J.D. in My Therapeutic Month

J.D.: Hey, thanks the biscotti, Obi-Brown.
Turk: No problem, Luke.
J.D.: And thanks for answering my page, I really want to rent this place, but once I told the landlord about my DUI, and that I sometimes pass out when I poo, he said I need someone to cosign the list. What's with that?
Turk: I have no idea. Awesome ceiling fan.
[later, a nurse applies a bandage to Turk's arm at the hospital:]
Carla: What happened? Are you okay?
Turk: It was a totally unavoidable accident.
[flashback: Turk is putting his hands up between the slowly rotating fan blades:]
Turk: Check out the hand skills.
J.D.: That is awesome!
Turk: Yeah, you wanna see awesome? Turn it up!
[Turk hangs onto a fan blade with both hands as it spins at speed]
Turk: [screams] Turn it off. Turn it off!
J.D.: This thing came off. This thing came off.
[present:]
J.D.: He was a beautiful black blur.

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 ‘My Therapeutic Month’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: It really is just super that you're here with us as a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks. Hell, after surgery, if there's the slightest medical issue you just turf the patient right down to us, the real doctors, so we can pick up your slack. You cut and run, if you will. That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bow ties. It is also the number one reason that all of you should pray to God, or, in your case, Rex, Moko the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers. Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.

Quote from Nurse Roberts

Carla: Look, the point is, it's an adjustment. Get ready for some arguing.
Elliot: Not us. He doesn't even mind sleeping in separate rooms. Uh, living with a guy before marriage makes me feel whorey.
Nurse Roberts: You can live in separate states, but if you're doing the nasty before you get married, your ass is gonna burn.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Do you know how lucky you are to have a husband? I mean, I've got a brand new home, I am totally ready to start my life, but I just don't know if Keith is marriage material. My mom thinks I should test his love by saying I'm knocked up. If he doesn't propose on the spot, I just demand that he gives me $600 for the abortion, dump him, and ease my sadness with a brand-new pair of Jimmy Choos. That's how she got her red shoe collection in college.