J.D. Quote #1329
Quote from J.D. in My Musical
[song "When the Truth Comes Out":]
J.D.: I'm sure you must be scared. Not knowing what this test will bring. It could prove that you are crazy. Do you still hear people sing? It's best to know the truth. Of that I have no doubt. But you'll have to face the future. When the truth comes out.
Dr. Cox: We are running a test That's a waste of our time. But at least she'll accept That she's medically fine. She'll admit that she's nuts Or I'll have to say "snore". Just give her the CAT-Scan And show her the door.
J.D.: While we process your results, We'll take you back to wait.
Turk: We've got drugs to calm you down. So you don't stress about your fate.
Turk & J.D.: It's best to know the truth. Of that we have no doubt. But you'll have to face the future.
All: You'll have to face the future when the truth comes out.
Carla: You're gonna miss it, Carla. You're gonna miss it 'round here. Gonna hurt him badly. But you can't stay away for one whole year.
Patti: I know that I'm not crazy.
J.D.: Everything comes down to poo.
Patti: I hope that I'm not crazy.
J.D.: When we move I'm gonna have My own private loo.
Elliot: How am I supposed to tell him That he's not moving too?
Patti: Oh my God.
Elliot: He doesn't have a clue.
Patti: I'm crazy.
Dr. Kelso: If you like to reconsider, I'd be glad to do my part. If you want your job is open, Come on back to Sacred Heart.
[talking:]
Radiologist: Look at the temporal lobe. That could be why she's hearing music.
Dr. Cox: The biggest aneurysm I've ever seen. The woman is a time-bomb.
[song continues:]
All: Sometimes you're better off not knowing. But this isn't one of those times. Your world's become a musical. And your doctors speak in rhymes. It's best to know the truth. Of that we have no doubt. But you'll have to face the future...
Carla: How can I tell him?
Elliot: How can I tell him?
Dr. Cox: How can I tell her?
All: You'll have to face the future when the truth comes out.
Patti: So, Dr. Cox, is it serious? Oh.
All: Oh... When the truth comes out.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Musical’ Quotes
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: The mind is a freaky thing, Elliot. Maybe she does hear singing.
Elliot: Yeah, well, I haven't sung since the 6th grade talent show when I did Pat Benatar's "Hell Is For Children". Then afterwards Mr. Shemin, the M.C, said "No, actually hell is for everyone who just had to hear you sing that song." My mom was so mad, she slept with him and ruined his marriage.
Quote from Turk
[song "Everything Comes Down to Poo":]
J.D.: Hey, Mrs. Miller. We just need a stool sample.
Patti: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
J.D. & Turk: 'cause the answer's not in your head, my dear, it's in your butt.
J.D.: You see? Everything comes down to poo. From the top of your head to the sole of your shoe. We can figure out what is wrong with you by looking at your poo. Turk?
Turk: Do you have a hemorrhoid? Or is it rectal cancer? When you flush your dookie down You flush away the answer.
J.D.: It doesn't really matter if it's hard of it's loose. We'll figure out what's ailing you. As long as it's a deuce. Yes! Everything comes down to poo.
All: Everything comes down to poo.
J.D.: Cardiovascular, lymphatic, yes the nervous system too. All across the nation, we trust in defecation. Everything comes down to poo.
Turk: If you want to know what's wrong Don't sit and act so cool. Just be a man and eat some bran. And drop the kids off at the pool.
Woman #1: My stomach hurts.
J.D.: Check the poo.
Woman #2: I sprained my ankle.
Turk: Check the poo.
Man: I was shot.
J.D.: Check the poo.
Delivery Guy: A homeless guy just threw poo in my eye.
Turk: Check the poo.
Delivery Guy: Mine or his?
J.D.: First him then you. It may sound gross. You may say "shush".
J.D. & Tur But we need to see what comes out of your tush.
All: Because everything comes down to poo. Whether it is a tumor or a touch of the flu.
Turk & J.D.: Please, won't you pinch us all a big fat clue.
Turk: Our number one test is your number two.
All: If there's no breeze, light a match please. Everything comes down to...
J.D.: Doo doo.
Turk: Doo doo.
J.D.: Doo doo.
Turk: Doo doo.
All: Everything comes down to poo!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
[song "Welcome to Sacred Heart":]
Dr. Kelso: Hello, I'm Dr. Kelso. I'm delighted that you came. So the doctors say you fainted and you don't know what's to blame. Well, put your mind at ease. There's no ill we can't outsmart. On behalf of all who work here...
All: Welcome to Sacred Heart!
J.D.: Our facilities are excellent, you couldn't ask for more.
Janitor: As long as you avoid the bathrooms on the second floor.
Dr. Kelso: This is Dr. Cox, I'll be giving him your chart.
Dr. Cox: And that's Dr. Kelso, the kiss-ass of Sacred Heart.
Turk: You say you burned your hand real bad, we'll fix you up with gauze
Elliot: Perhaps you need your fat sucked out or want a smaller schnoz
J.D.: Hey!
Dr. Kelso: You've caught a STD from some tasty little tart.
All: We swear we won't judge you here at Sacred Here at Sacred Here at Sacred Heart...
Dr. Kelso: One more thing that I should mention if what I heard is true. And everyone appears to be singing to you. Your case is very serious. And we better start. 'cause if you think we're singing, you belong at Sacred Heart.
All: Doctors! Nurses! Patients! Dead Guys! Welcome to Sacred Heart!