Dr. Cox Quote #760
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Musical
[song "The Rant Song":]
Patti: Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy.
Dr. Cox: Am I still singing?
Patti: Singing like a bird.
J.D.: Dr. Cox, huge news. I pulled some strings and got the parking spot right behind yours. Bumper buddies.
Dr. Cox: Still, you're not nearly as bad as her. Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is: a lot. Should I list the reasons why? Well, I don't see why not. It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face, you always need a hug. Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug. That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex. And, oh my God, stop telling me when you have nerdy sex.
J.D.: Oh, by the way, last time Kim was in town we got some appletinis and poured them on her good parts.
Dr. Cox: See now, Newbie? That's the thing you do that drives me up a tree. 'cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be. So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son. It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one. No, I'm not the only one.
Janitor: It all started with a penny in the door. There was a hatred I had never felt before. So now I'll make him pay, each and every day. Until that moussed-hair little nuance is no more.
Dr. Cox: So now that is why I call you names like Carol, Jane and Sue. Like Moesha, Kim and Lilly and Suzanne and Betty Lou. See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are quite clear. You're a pain in every day of every month of every year.
Patti: Dr. Cox, you gotta help me 'cause I really am distressed. Can't you find another option, won't you run another test?
Dr. Cox: If you want some kind of favor, really any kind of favor, please just get me peace and quiet from this godforsaken pest.
J.D.: I think what my bumper buddy is trying to say-
Patti: Shut your cake-hole, Marybeth. Or I swear to God I'll shut it soon.
Dr. Cox: Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this afternoon.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Musical’ Quotes
Quote from Elliot
J.D.: The mind is a freaky thing, Elliot. Maybe she does hear singing.
Elliot: Yeah, well, I haven't sung since the 6th grade talent show when I did Pat Benatar's "Hell Is For Children". Then afterwards Mr. Shemin, the M.C, said "No, actually hell is for everyone who just had to hear you sing that song." My mom was so mad, she slept with him and ruined his marriage.
Quote from Turk
[song "Everything Comes Down to Poo":]
J.D.: Hey, Mrs. Miller. We just need a stool sample.
Patti: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
J.D. & Turk: 'cause the answer's not in your head, my dear, it's in your butt.
J.D.: You see? Everything comes down to poo. From the top of your head to the sole of your shoe. We can figure out what is wrong with you by looking at your poo. Turk?
Turk: Do you have a hemorrhoid? Or is it rectal cancer? When you flush your dookie down You flush away the answer.
J.D.: It doesn't really matter if it's hard of it's loose. We'll figure out what's ailing you. As long as it's a deuce. Yes! Everything comes down to poo.
All: Everything comes down to poo.
J.D.: Cardiovascular, lymphatic, yes the nervous system too. All across the nation, we trust in defecation. Everything comes down to poo.
Turk: If you want to know what's wrong Don't sit and act so cool. Just be a man and eat some bran. And drop the kids off at the pool.
Woman #1: My stomach hurts.
J.D.: Check the poo.
Woman #2: I sprained my ankle.
Turk: Check the poo.
Man: I was shot.
J.D.: Check the poo.
Delivery Guy: A homeless guy just threw poo in my eye.
Turk: Check the poo.
Delivery Guy: Mine or his?
J.D.: First him then you. It may sound gross. You may say "shush".
J.D. & Tur But we need to see what comes out of your tush.
All: Because everything comes down to poo. Whether it is a tumor or a touch of the flu.
Turk & J.D.: Please, won't you pinch us all a big fat clue.
Turk: Our number one test is your number two.
All: If there's no breeze, light a match please. Everything comes down to...
J.D.: Doo doo.
Turk: Doo doo.
J.D.: Doo doo.
Turk: Doo doo.
All: Everything comes down to poo!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
[song "Welcome to Sacred Heart":]
Dr. Kelso: Hello, I'm Dr. Kelso. I'm delighted that you came. So the doctors say you fainted and you don't know what's to blame. Well, put your mind at ease. There's no ill we can't outsmart. On behalf of all who work here...
All: Welcome to Sacred Heart!
J.D.: Our facilities are excellent, you couldn't ask for more.
Janitor: As long as you avoid the bathrooms on the second floor.
Dr. Kelso: This is Dr. Cox, I'll be giving him your chart.
Dr. Cox: And that's Dr. Kelso, the kiss-ass of Sacred Heart.
Turk: You say you burned your hand real bad, we'll fix you up with gauze
Elliot: Perhaps you need your fat sucked out or want a smaller schnoz
J.D.: Hey!
Dr. Kelso: You've caught a STD from some tasty little tart.
All: We swear we won't judge you here at Sacred Here at Sacred Here at Sacred Heart...
Dr. Kelso: One more thing that I should mention if what I heard is true. And everyone appears to be singing to you. Your case is very serious. And we better start. 'cause if you think we're singing, you belong at Sacred Heart.
All: Doctors! Nurses! Patients! Dead Guys! Welcome to Sacred Heart!