Dr. Kelso Quote #289
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Urologist
Dr. Kelso: Listen up, nametags. I need to wire some cash to my son so he can make bail. Apparently, that musical he was producing was just a front for a crystal meth lab. And here's the kicker: He fled to Toronto, so now the freaking Mounties are involved. Anyhoo, I need somebody to zip out to my house and grab $400.
Janitor: I'll do it. I shouldn't be mopping in here anyway. This is a rug.
J.D.: [sloshing] Don't let him in your house, sir. He'll steal everything you've got like he stole my camera.
Dr. Kelso: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian?
J.D.: Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
Dr. Kelso: I will never fear this man. You think I'm afraid of you, chief?
Janitor: No, sir, I do not.
Dr. Kelso: Now, look, I keep my extra cash in a pickle jar on the top shelf over the sink. Enid wants that jar so bad she can taste it. [laughs] Oh, right. You don't remember she's paralyzed and can't stand out of her wheelchair. That's why you're not laughing.
Dr. Cox: No, Bob. We're not laughing because we're all horrified.
Dr. Kelso: [laughs] Well, it tickles me.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Urologist’ Quotes
Quote from Kim
[as the Scrubs theme plays, Kim grabs the X-ray:]
Kim: That's backwards. It's been bugging me for years.
Quote from Kim
Kim: Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan and I recommend we don't do surgery.
Mr. Peters: Great.
Kim: This is goodbye for us, but I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Dr. John D. Dorian. You take care. [to J.D.] I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients for some reason. In my mind, the "D" stands for "Dallas" because I just got finished telling Mr. Peters that's where I lost my virginity. Don't know how we got down that path. Something about that old man just makes me want to open up.
Quote from Elliot
Carla: Why are you breaking up with Keith?
Elliot: Look, Keith is sweet, but after watching him get walked on again this morning, I feel like I need a stronger man in my life. I want what you have, someone who will stand up for me when I really need it, you know? Someone as confident as Turk or as brave as Dr. Cox or as... I'm sorry, Laverne, I don't really know your husband. What are some of Mr. Roberts good qualities?
Nurse Roberts: Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix, and when it rains, he carries me to the car.
Elliot: And you guys have been together, what, 60 years?
Nurse Roberts: I'm 48, and I'm done here.
Elliot: My bad.