Dr. Kelso Quote #221

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Boss' Free Haircut

[Dr. Kelso kicks the door down]
Turk: Sir, the door was open.
Dr. Kelso: I know, I just love doing it.
Miss Goldman: What now, grandpa?
Dr. Kelso: You are gonna shut your damn yapper and listen for a change. Because I've got you pegged, sweetheart. You want to take the easy way out with this surgery because you're scared. And you're scared because if you try and fail, there's only you to blame. Well, missy, let me break this down for you Bobbo-style. Life is scary. Get used to it.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then it seemed like Dr. Kelso wasn't only talking to her.
Dr. Kelso: There are no magical fixes. It's all up to you. So get up of your keister, get out of here and go start doing the work.
Miss Goldman: What if it's too hard?
Turk: Yeah, what if it's too hard?
Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, I have no idea of why you are chiming in, but I'll say this to both of you. Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.


 ‘My Boss' Free Haircut’ Quotes

Quote from Elliot

Carla: Thank you so much for letting me stay here, Elliot.
Elliot: Please. And I still have only one rule. I cannot talk or be talked to while I'm on the toilet. And I also cannot talk or be talked to by someone who's on the toilet.
Carla: You told me yesterday, Elliot. I get it.
Elliot: You say you get it and yet you still managed to knock this morning and ask if I wanted coffee.
Carla: Oh, I just thought that-
Elliot: Uh, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. Pretend that never happened or I won't poo again for two months.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Mr. Warner, do you see what you've made me do by once again choosing to spend all of your free time out on the surface of the sun until melanoma has developed. You've forced me to pull the attending dermatologist away from his backne seminar and validate his most ridiculous of career choices. [Dr. Johnson squeals] Oh, God.
Mr. Warner: I just wanted to look good.
Dr. Cox: You, my friend, look so damned leathery, I'm honestly tempted to wrap you around a baseball, cinch you up with a belt and stick you under my mattress so that you're good and broken in for the big game on Sunday. But, since I'm here to heal, not judge, I'm gonna go ahead and write you a couple of prescriptions. You'll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet to help you pound some sense into yourself. The second one is for a big floppy hat that you're now to wear every single time you leave the house. Have a great day. You look like a purse.

 Dr. Bob Kelso Quotes

Quote from My Kingdom

Dr. Cox: I have no words.
Dr. Kelso: How about handsome? Or glorious?
Dr. Cox: And this abomination is the reason we can't afford a new computer?
Dr. Kelso: Well, that and the little medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland. And by medical boondoggle, I mean golf weekend. And by Cleveland, I mean Hawaii.
Dr. Cox: Do you have any idea what people around here think of you?
Dr. Kelso: I go to bed some nights wondering. And you know what happens to me, Perry? I fall asleep. And I mean like a log, brother. Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport. And by bus, I mean helicopter.

Quote from My Dumb Luck

Dr. Kelso: So, have you killed anyone yet?
Boon: What? No.
Dr. Kelso: Well, you will.
Boon: Super.
Dr. Kelso: It's a rite of passage for doctors. If you're lucky, it'll be a patient who's on his way out anyway. My first kill was a 19-year-old girl. She came in with severe abdominal pain. I thought it was appendicitis. Turned out, she was pregnant and didn't know it. It was ectopic and she was bleeding internally. I should have checked for that. But by the time I discovered my mistake, it was too late. Sometimes I look at this old hospital, I actually see the faces of all the patients I've lost. Booga, booga, booga!
Boon: Aah!
Dr. Kelso: [laughs] Priceless. But I do see them sometimes.