J.D. Quote #780

Quote from J.D. in My Unicorn

J.D.: [v.o.] Time to go see my favorite patient, Mr. Gregory Marks. He may need a new kidney, but he sure as hell doesn't need a new heart.
Mr. Marks: Hey, I bought you a present.
J.D.: Oh, my God, a journal.
Mr. Marks: Well, you seem like the kind of sensitive young buck that likes to chronicle his feelings.
J.D.: [v.o.] I can't wait to chronicle this one. Oh, God.
J.D.: I gotta tell you, Mr. Marks. Even though I know you'd never take it, I'd give you one of my kidneys in a second.
Mr. Marks: Oh, no, I would definitely take it! I would take it with my bare hands.
J.D.: Awesome. Well, let me check your chart and s-see if we're a match.
J.D.: [v.o.] Please don't be a match! Please don't be a match! Blood type O! Not a match! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
J.D.: I'm so sorry.


 ‘My Unicorn’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Hey, Newbie. The good news is that Murray and his dad are a match, kidney-wise. The better news is that the test revealed a little secret you're gonna wanna share with your new pal. Gregory is not Murray's biological father.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, no.
Dr. Cox: By the by, this moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments.

Quote from J.D.

Dr. Cox: Hello, Heather.
J.D.: You will never guess what I found on the computer.
Dr. Cox: Is it a set of adult male shoulders?
J.D.: They had to trim them to get me out of that well.

Quote from Janitor

Carla: Okay, I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient. Now, how we gonna fix this thing?
Janitor: [appears from nowhere] You're okay. The guy wanted an orange soda, right? We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.
Carla: Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy. Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Janitor: I will.
[The Janitor takes out the ring box from his pocket, walks into the middle of the corridor, kneels down on one knee and presents the ring as Elliot approaches. She walks past him.]
Janitor: Dammit! I told you to sparkle!