Dan Quote #17

Quote from Dan in My Cake

Dr. Cox: Hey, where's your brother?
Dan: J.D.! [silence] He's not here.
Dr. Cox: Look, Dan-
Dan: It's Captain Bubblebeard. Avast, matey! Shut yer scupper and bare yer steel, we should be seeing la- [Dr. Cox dunks Dan in the water]
Dr. Cox: Now you're Dan again. Let's break down the kid's support system, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist and, he's got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who's soaking in a tub of what by now has to be mostly your own urine.
Dan: I believe the ratio has shifted that way, yes.
Dr. Cox: And I have got to believe that the two of us, together, together, Dan we can make it at least half-way to one legitimate adult.
Dan: You're right, Coxy. Dammit, Coxsmith! Crybaby time is over! The kid needs us, and he needs us now, right? Towel. Thank you. Let's rock and roll! I may have lost some muscle mass in my legs.
Dr. Cox: Fantastic.

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 ‘My Cake’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

Janitor: Well, howdy, Dr. Kelso. Ain't she a beaut'? I rented her so I could repair the air conditioning unit.
Dr. Kelso: Looks expensive, who authorized it?
Janitor: Why, you did, sir. Must have been Tuesday last.
Dr. Kelso: Stop talking like a farmer. I did no such thing. Now, I'm not sure how one would go about making a janitor's life even more miserable, but what say we start by docking your pay for the cost of this monstrosity.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dan: I gotta tell you little brother, you were always the apple of Dad's eye. You know, that's the worst thing about college football, the male cheerleaders. Ooh, God, that's a chick.
Dr. Cox: You know, when my father died, all I could focus on was how he was never there, but you- You're lucky, you've got some positive stuff you can dwell on. Throw the ball, Jackass.
Dan: He is a jackass.
Dr. Cox: I mean, I met your father, I remember it like it was yesterday. After about two seconds I could tell how proud he was of you.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I heard something I thought I'd never hear.
Dr. Cox: Truth be told, there, Newbie. I'm proud of you.
Dan: Me too.

Quote from Ted

J.D.: [v.o.] Working at Sacred Heart, you grow accustomed to a lot of things. Sickness, death, Ted's morning self-affirmation ritual.
Ted: People are laughing with you. People are laughing with you. People are laughing with you.