Turk Quote #53

Quote from Turk in My Blind Date

Turk: Hey, Carla. Carla, wait! Where are you going?
Carla: I'm gonna go crash at my place tonight, like you said.
Turk: You want to know what's wrong? That's what's wrong. "I'm gonna go chill out at my house, like you said."
Carla: God, you're so sexy right now.
Turk: I've been doing a lot of thinking. And, you know, we're past that new, exciting relationship phase, and all that's left is us. Baby, I gotta tell you, you drive me crazy, alright? You take my French fries, you boss me around in front of my friends.
Carla: You said strong women turn you on.
Turk: Forget about it.
Carla: Look, we all know what you're gonna do, so why not be a man and do it so I can go home?
Turk: OK. I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
Carla: Me too.
Turk: Yeah?
Carla: I love you.

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 ‘My Blind Date’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Elliot: Dr. Cox, you can trust me to help you. I was top five in my class.
Dr. Cox: [buzzer sound] That's the noise I make when somebody lies to me.
Elliot: Okay, I was eight. But I can do this. I'll get us this perfect-
Dr. Cox: Don't say it!
Elliot: Game.
Dr. Cox: What part of "don't say it" did you not understand? Was it the "don't" or the "say it"? Help me to help you, Barbie. Help me to help you. Help me to help you. Help me to help you.

Quote from Dr. Cox

J.D.: Something's going down.
Dr. Cox: Alright, bring it in here, you knuckleheads. Take a knee if you need to, you confoundits. I have been on since midnight, so I stand here with my usual contempt for all of you, but with the added wrinkle of having 13 cups of Nurse Robert's piss-poor excuse for coffee passing pretty much straight through me. The not-so-hidden message being, of course, that if you screw up today, I'm going to hit you hard and fast.

Quote from Janitor

[J.D. walks out of the elevator as the Janitor mops the floor]
Janitor: Hey!
J.D.: What? I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. What imaginary slight have you concocted in that paranoid brain of yours?
[The Janitor looks down to the trail of muddy footprints trailing J.D.]
J.D.: [v.o.] Crap.
J.D.: Well, shouldn't there be some sort of sign... Oh, look at that. Well, you should put it back down before someone slips and falls.
Janitor: Oh, is that what I should do? Good, because I make most decisions based on your opinion. You know what, I'm thinking of splitting up with the wife. Maybe you could mull that over, get back to me, maybe pow-wow. [a woman slips] Floor's wet, ma'am. Little help over here. Little help.

 Christopher Turk Quotes

Quote from My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from My Life in Four Cameras

Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?

Quote from My Fault

Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
Turk: Where are you going? To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes? I'mma call Jesse! And we gonna march on your ass! [licks frosting] Mm.