J.D. Quote #1656
Elliot: Hey, did you guys heard they're starting to interview for the new Chief of Medicine?
Janitor: Actually, they already found someone.
Oscar the Grouch: That's right, knuckleheads. There's a new chief in town!
Janitor: That was a mistake.
Oscar the Grouch: I'll be watching you, John Dorian. And guess what. My eyes never close.
Janitor: Mine neither. Actually, they do. That was a lie.
[reality:]
J.D.: I grew up on the street. No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My ABC's’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Dr. Cox: Look, you and I are alike in a lot of ways.
Janitor: We both harbor an internal struggle between the desire to do good, and the urge to become a master criminal.
Dr. Cox: We don't.
Janitor: We do.
Dr. Cox: You hate people, and I hate people. What nobody gets is that we never hate indiscriminately.
Janitor: That is so true. I only hate those that have wronged me. Like if they stole my stuff, or put a penny in a door. Or... that guy. See this look he shot us, like he's so much better than we are.
Dr. Cox: Plus, he's only 25, and earlier I heard him use the phrase "Back in the day".
Janitor: Well, he's dug his own grave, hasn't he? Let's do this.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Katie. You don't have to do that.
Katie: I know. It's disgusting.
Elliot: You're just under so much pressure, I've been there.
Katie: Really?
Elliot: Oh, my God, my first week here, I totally screwed my best friend, J.D., just to look good in rounds. Well, not literally screwed. I mean, yes, later, we did it. But that was for totally different reasons. And honestly, it's been talked to death. But we are dating again. Don't tell anyone.
Katie: Got it.
Quote from Denise
J.D.: All right, Denise. I'm going to kick your butt with scut work for a while. Still, I really want you to be yourself around me.
Denise: Do you really mean that, sir?
J.D.: [v.o.] Sir! Loving this girl's energy.
J.D.: I mean every word, young miss.
Denise: Well, buddy. You have no idea how psyched I am to hear that. I mean, I spent four years in med school talking like this so I wouldn't dare threaten all the male teachers who pee their pants every time they're even near a strong woman. Seriously, I am so happy to be done with all that, I could drop a deuce right here.
J.D.: Oh, well, don't do that here, Denise. Cause this is a hospital.
J.D.: [v.o.] What in god's name just happened?
Denise: By the way, how can you stand these scrubs? Mine are so far up my butt right now, I can taste them in my throat.
J.D.: You don't have to be yourself all the time, just some of the time.