Dr. Kelso: A SPECT camera, eh? My hospital, Sacred Heart, needs one of those.
Salesman: It's funny you should say that. I was just on the phone with your chief of medicine ten minutes ago.
[meanwhile:]
Janitor: Hmm, fax this to someone. [answers phone] Chief o' medicine.
Dr. Kelso: I'm the Chief of Medicine, Bob Kelso. Who the hell is this?
Janitor: Uh, I'm you. I'm talking to you from a future phone. By the way, sell all your gasoline stocks, everything now runs on potatoes!
Dr. Kelso: I don't know who the hell this is, but when I find out I am going to put my loafer so far up your ass you're gonna have tassles hanging out of your nose. Now, tell me who you are.
Janitor: What's your name again?
Ted: Teddy Buckland.
Dr. Kelso: Ted?!

Janitor: Uh, hey, everyone! I've been looking for a new role playing game, ever since my Lord of the Rings club booted me for using an actual war hammer. So, would anybody mind, if I pretended to be the Chief of Medicine while Kelso is out of town? [murmurs of agreement]
Dr. Cox: Oh, Janitor you're a natural!
[The Janitor is suddenly wearing a lab coat and stethoscope]
Janitor: Fantastic! Let's make cancer feel foolish.

Elliot: I've always wanted to be married so badly. I mean, what if I am settling with Keith?
Carla: Elliott, what you're going through is normal.
Jordan: Mmm-hmm. When I got engaged all I could think of was, "Why am I with this angry, cynical idiot?" But then I fought through it and realized he was the love of my life. Unfortunately we had a little argument, and so we broke up, but then I met Perry a month later, we have two beautiful children and the point is, sometimes settling works.